Rex Harrison - Why Can't The English? lyrics

Henry (Rex Harrison): Look at her, a prisoner of the gutters Condemned by every syllable she ever utters By right, she should be taken out and hung For the cold-blooded murder of the English tongue Eliza (Julie Andrews): Aaoooww! Henry: "Aaoooww!" Heavens, what a sound! This is what the British population Calls an elementary education Pickering (Robert Coote): Oh, come sir, I think you picked a poor example Henry: Did I? Hear them down in Soho square Dropping "h's" everywhere Speaking English anyway they like You sir, did you go to school? Man: Wadaya tike me for, a fool? Henry: No one taught him 'take' instead of 'tike! Hear a Yorkshireman, or worse Hear a Cornishman converse I'd rather hear a choir singing flat Chickens cackling in a barn Just like this one! Eliza: Garn! Henry: "Garn!" I ask you, sir, what sort of word is that? It's "Aoooow" and "Garn" that keep her in her place Not her wretched clothes and dirty face Why can't the English teach their children how to speak? This verbal cla** distinction by now should be antique If you spoke as she does, sir, Instead of the way you do Why, you might be selling flowers, too Pickering: I beg your pardon, sir! An Englishman's way of speaking absolutely cla**ifies him The moment he talks he makes some other Englishman despise him One common language I'm afraid we'll never get Oh, why can't the English learn to set A good example to people whose English is painful to your ears? The Scotch and the Irish leave you close to tears There even are places where English completely disappears In America, they haven't used it for years! Why can't the English teach their children how to speak? Norwegians learn Norwegian; the Greeks are taught their Greek In France every Frenchman knows his language from "A" to "Zed" The French never care what they do, actually, as long as they pronounce it properly Arabians learn Arabian with the speed of summer lightning And Hebrews learn it backwards, which is absolutely frightening But use proper English, you're regarded as a freak Oh, why can't the English Why can't the English learn to speak?