Rev - Subsequently (Not On Drugs) lyrics

[Intro:] Let the ba** drop Yeah Here We Go [Verse 1: Rev] All my life plans got evicted I'm mad I existed My mind can't clear itself out, so Nothing is getting me lifted Turn another page in this book, just Repeating the motions Where am I going, Can't stop holding The ball I am throwing Thoughts coming back to me Reminding me of the Trinity What was I meant to be? Can anyone show me? Who are you? I'm lonely; standing in this corner The darkness is the context But I still can't stay sober So I write another verse down Drowning out in my mental The pain is still too much I try not to act gentle Venting through this paper See me type away on my phone I know I said it already, but Hell yeah I'm alone And I smoke my pain away Drink until the day Light isn't my forte And I pop another one down Getting lost in the sound How crazy, does it make me I do this to get found But I'm still getting drowned out And I try to keep my words healthy For those who see my value But I'm still dancing on strobe lights Floating vapors like I'm a balloon And you, still just watch me Dancing with me in my nightmares So concerned with what I am That you begin to get stuck there And I'm mad And you're glad And I'm angry I get sad I'm hitting rock bottom Enjoying the life I once had Where's my dad? God if you're up there where's my dad? [Verse 2: Rev] But I'm still all on my grind Improving my rhyme every time Yeah, I'm lost up in my matrix While snorting away white lines But What good is doing what I'm doing? Sheltered in from the outside We still party where I'm from Up to this day, since '99 And listen in with my eyes I mouth off with my ears Stall under the pressure, and still come back To combat my fears These gears are still turning I still have a heart inside My brain is still working mind over matter Can you leave? Cause it's my time Yeah it's my time It's my time They're blinded by my shine While you're in your room Playing with Legos I'm building a design How will it work? Where can it be? Where will it stand? Who's in with me? Why bother then? What will it cost? I'm Diana Ross I'm still the boss [Verse 3: Rev] You see They don't care I don't either Still rocking that wife beater And I'm still holding a knife cleaver Hoping I don't end it right there Evil Brain, Angel Heart Yes I utter much But I never cover up It's just because of luck [Outro:] (Uh; That Drip) Where the hell am I?