RELTΔ - What I Should Be lyrics

[Verse 1] I run from the visions I dream of often Hoping that no characters can see me hopping Flash back, hear the fast crack, back to when I had to settle down just to see my options I'm a tourist to my hometown Wish I knew then what I know now Colleagues making families and I'm here tryna pay the bills sh** ain't been the same since she died, that's off the record still I been on these records still Swallowing these record pills Hollow in these shadows that I breathe in just to know it's real Chipping off the block cause daddy never been the loving type Wish I knew what mother love was really like f** I'm kidding GG gave me everything that I could love in life Music gave me confirmation for the nights I fled the light Seeing everything in front of me cannot express the pain And saying what I feel can never stop the rain... But then again [Chorus] Half the time, I have to hide from the mirror Half the lines, I say I tend to say them clearer Without you, without me, without them Saying what I should be Saying what I should be [Verse 2] What's the message I'm speaking? Is this sh** worth the damage? Is this sh** worth the keeping? Should I just give up now, or you love what I'm saying Is it a diary moment? Or is this a revelation? Bible stayed dusty for years Ain't open it since the funeral, think it's harboring tears I think the spots on the emblem are faded into the pages The ink is blurred But the meaning is still within every single word How do I face the problems in me that I never approached? Seeking God in everything but the boat That's sinking into the desert with all of these reckless heathens I been focusing on the thoughts that I'm barely breathing [Chorus] Half the time, I have to hide from the mirror Half the lines, I say I tend to say them clearer Without you, without me, without them Saying what I should be [Verse 3] Living my life like I'm a peasant Feeling like I'm a f**ing king f** the rich sh** I'm just tryna eat, then buy myself into Harvard to get degrees So maybe my family could be proud of my a** You looked up to them Fresh Princes, never be proud of that Jazz Every canvas I embrace it brings me closer to me and myself though I Never feel the difference between what lies in the midst of riots Throwing pitchers no aim, and I'm taking pictures no frame It's just in my pocket, the game is just in my pocket to gain. Gain Do I leave it there by the block, cause this music sh** is turning to everything I thought That it would be, fakes, snakes, and the hound dogs, from the ground boy Predicting the weather like a groundhog Words taste bitter like a b**h, more like a found broad I just wanted everything before tax took it all. Lord In the Garden of Eden eating apples with my main b**h The main sh** been k**ing me to become what they can't get Can't fit into my egotistic might as well join the f**ing team Last chance to witness real, you'll feel what I f**ing mean [Chorus] Half the time, I have to hide from the mirror Half the lines, I say I tend to say them clearer Without you, without me, without them Saying what I should be