Once upon a time in Louisiana I found myself half wasted late at night I was drinking heavily with Jesus Talking about impacts of his life Tell me, tell me Jesus Tell me, tell me more Why am I not happy? Why am I not rich? Why nobody loves me? Why life such a b**h? b**h! B I T C H b**h! B I T C H b**h! B I T C H b**h! Jesus looked at me kinda weird I saw silver tears in his eyes Cracking jokes and laughing through his beard Drinking from a bottle fine red wine Tell me, tell me Jesus Tell me, tell me more Why am I not happy? Why am I not rich? Why nobody loves me? Why life's such a b**h? Jesus had a shot of Jose Cuervo Then we had some whiskey on the rocks Then we started dancing like two maniacs Then he said to me: JESUS: "You are a drunk!" WITNESSES: "Yeah!" JESUS: "You are a loser!" WITNESSES: "Yeah!" JESUS: "You are a womanizer!" JESUS & WITNESSES (Raise gla**es): "Hallelujah!" Why am I not happy? Why am I not rich? Why nobody loves me? Why life such a b**h? Why am I not happy? Why am I not rich? Why nobody loves me? Why life such a b**h? b**h! B I T C H b**h! B I T C H b**h! B I T C H b**h!