Ray Stevens - Family Funeral Fight lyrics

Now he was just a little fella Barely 5'3 But he caused a great commotion Down in Ducktown, Tennessee Now it was nothing that the old man did Or one word that he said; Fact is the trouble didn't start Till three days after he was dead. It was a military funeral With the family gathered 'round Come to show the old man honor And to ease him in the ground But murmurs spread among the crowd And the mourners' blood ran cold When up pulled the big squad car Marked Tennessee State Patrol It was the old mans youngest son Doing 25 to life For burning down his brother's trailer And running off with his wife The entire family was divided Held together by a shaky truce And then a woman yelled, 'I still love you Al!' and all hell broke lose Brothers, uncles, sisters, cousins Knife and fist fights by the dozens, Yellin', spittin', bitin', hittin' What a sight to see! At the Ducktown knock down Family funeral fight! It started in the afternoon And lasted half the night; Ten were stabbed two were shot Nobody walked or talked quite right After the Ducktown, knock down Family funeral fight! Well they called out the county Mounties And more highway patrol And after about an hour or two They finally gained control The sheriff said this is a disgrace And I'm haulin' all y'all in But not till we've brought this service To a decent end So the Honor Guard stepped forward Fired their rifles in the air An old lady who was snoozin' Jumped and fell out of her chair And as she hit that Astroturf you won't Believe what happened then A boy yelled "Whoa, they shot grandma!" And here we go again Mourners, Police, Honor Guards, Relatives from near and far Cussin', fussin', bitin', and hittin', What a sight to see! At the Ducktown knock down Family funeral fight! It started in the afternoon And lasted half the night; 10 were stabbed 2 were shot Nobody walked or talked quite right After the Ducktown, knock down Family funeral fight! It was the Ducktown, knock down Family funeral feud! You can't believe the mayhem And the chaos that ensued! Why they even shot the sheriff, Punched out the preacher's lights, At the Ducktown, knock down Family funeral fight! The Ducktown, knock down Family funeral fight!