I want a diamond, I really do I think that you should give me one Then you can prove your love is true And that the gift giving has just begun I want that diamond, I want that thing A tennis bracelet, a ring It better shine, it better cut I know it is expensive but... What other way can you make four months of your measly salary last a lifetime And what other thing have I ever asked you for Besides... The ability to read my mind And I didn't get that either, Yet I want that diamond, I want it so All of my irritating friends will know That I have worth, not only that But that you love me even though I'm fat I want that thing, I want it now I'll say it once, I don't care how you get it You can rob a store, There just is nothing I want more Than diamond j**elry for me And I'll talk louder so you see how very much it means to me! Even some little stud earrings Give me the goddamned diamond!!!