[Verse 1] Bruce Campbell is the finest man to grace a silver screen All the other actors just degrade his noble scenes The Oscars should award him for his wondrous career Hold a town parade for him with each movie premiere [Chorus 1] Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell) We're gonna be best friends Gonna come to your house and watch Hercules From season 1 till the end I'll hand you everything I own And you'll sign it all for me Then we'll start rehearsing for Cave Alien 3 [Verse 2] Bruce Lorne Campbell should be offered every lead Imagine him as Spider-Man, a finer choice indeed Casablanca could've been improved if Campbell would've said Here's lookin' at you…you primitive screw-head [Chorus 2] Bruce Campbell (Bruce Campbell) Dert dert da dert dert dert Gonna come to your house and put Xena on And not sleep till it's done I got the whole box set for Brisco County, too I love you and to prove it's true I'm gonna play a kazoo [Kazoo solo] [Verse 3] Bruce "Ash" Campbell is a truly stellar man He bravely fought the deadites but a chainsaw took his hand Coincidentally, I have one I barely ever use I'll saw it off and ship it to the charming, handsome Bruce [Chorus 3] Bruce Campbell (Bruse Campbell) I need the measurements for your chin Gonna get me a jawbone implant And I'm gonna be your twin Then I'll get me a tattoo of your face And put it right on my...face Then we'll fly into outer space and... Hey Bruce, where are you going? [Chorus 4] Bruce Campbell (gonna find you) You can't hide from me I found your house on Google maps And just watched you go pee When I find you, I'm gonna clone you Take your DNA against your will I'll make 8,000 Bruce Campbells To build Bruce Campbellville BRUCE!