Pete Atkin - Errant Knight lyrics

Atkin-James My Lady Anne your champion's depressed I'm not in shape to carry on the quest I have to keep my speed down to a trot Or lose what little armour plate I've got My screws are loose, my clamps are hanging off My helmet topples every time I cough I topple with it every time I charge I've gotta get this suit to a garage Oh do you wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher for an errant knight My faithful steed is the joke of Joyous Gard And sensitive withal he takes it hard His forward gears are shot, and what is worse He's too slow for my safety in reverse So there we go, my faithful steed and me No third party, tax or M.O.T. And there beside me rides my faithful squire His card's unstamped, his trumpet fixed with wire Oh do you wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher for an errant knight For tomorrow I must fight Sir Valentine Thy hateful ravisher, the prancing swine The time has come for him to meet his fate From me, Sir Sagramore the second-rate The joust is in the morning, Lady Anne And you not there? My one and only fan This time I pray that I may stay the course And not fall from the crane and miss my horse Oh do you wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher for an errant knight But Justice, God and Truth watch over me At half a sovereign ringside, children free Sir Valentine the Violent is through Providing God comes up with something new 'Cause his drop-forged armour and his tungsten axe His horse that runs on caterpillar tracks That showy stuff is strictly for parades Like his rocket launcher, radar and grenades Oh do you wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher for an errant knight Sir Valentine the Violent, supersword Tilts with me tomorrow on the sward Thy just revenge lies in my hand and eye My faithful squire has bade me do or die And put all his money on the other guy So dost thou wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher for an errant knight Oh do you wonder I feel so uptight Times were never tougher Like rugged, man, and rougher Times were never tougher for an errant knight