I am a puppet on a string I am the worst thing worst thing you've ever seen I am impossible to believe I'm pulled by gravity shocked by my depravity I'm irrational I'm illogical hypocritical a bleeding heart liberal I'm an alien dressed like Gideon I'm a malcontent a thorough modern idiot watch me as I fall I am humble I am vain what motivates me something I can't explain I am outrageous and insane I'm fueled by gasoline, alcohol and nicotine I'm an honest hypocrite imploding modern idiot I am a slave to my abuse convicted caught with no excuse I'm pathetic apathetic disillusioned disconnected I am lost I am free I'm impossible to believe a walking chemical statistically impossible a thorough modern idiot watch me as I fall