[Verse 1] What the hell is wrong with me? I'm not who I want to be But I tried spot cream an' I tried it all I'm crawling up the wall! [Chorus] What's my name? Name?[x2] [Verse 2] I tried to join a ping-pong club Sign on the door said all full up! I got nicked, fighting in the road And the judge didn't even know [Chorus] [Verse 3] Dad got pissed so I got clocked Couldn't hear the Tannoy so he lost the lot Offers Mum a bribe through the letter box Drives you f**ing mad Now I'm round the back of your house at night Peeping in the window, are you sleeping tight? I laugh at your locks with my celloid strip And you won't know who came [Chorus][x2]