Paul Heaton - Mini-Correct lyrics

[Verse 1] They say always use a condom, I say always use a whip They say be careful where you come at night, I just shoot straight from the hip When it comes to love's great fountain, I won't just take a sip I'll swallow and I'll gulp until the fountain makes me sick [Chorus 1] So it's me left with the baby and disease You can't say you didn't want it on your hands and on your knees You made me feel so special Well you were especially good I'm sorry that you misunderstood [Verse 2] These neatly folded corduroys hide rubber underneath But the only rubber you have worn is that useless rubber sheath I won't have what I've got for you stolen by no thief 'Cause the safest s** I've ever had was hanging from a tree [Chorus 2] So you've left me for another pretty face That's not true, I left you for one half the human race Now I'm by myself A woman who knows her place It's not so much the chase, it's the race [Verse 3] They say treat her like a lady and she'll treat you like her j**els They say cruel to be kind, I just say cruel to be cruel They say only marry once, I say only marry fools They wouldn't've made the cane if you weren't meant to break the rules [Chorus 3] Have you told them that you'll hurt them then be gone? I've told them that I'll hurt them if that really turns them on You left a bitter scar I tied those ropes too tight I'll tie them loose for you tonight, tonight... [Outro] When I told you that I loved you I meant mini-correct When I said I'd never leave you I meant mini-correct A ring around your finger, a chain around your neck That was major correct