Paul And Storm - Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley lyrics

Wouldn't it be nice if there was a place To lose the weight of the world and put a smile on your face? Have the time of your life Bring the kids and the wife And you never have to worry 'bout d**h or blunt-force trauma Go to Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley He's made a change or two Now it's safer for me and you Because what else would a responsible adult do At Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley The first thing that you notice when you walk in the door The pins are made out of Nerf, and they're nailed to the floor And with your rental shoes You also choose A set of knee pads, shoulder pads Elbow pads, shin guards Chest protector, face mask Codpiece and a helmet Down at Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley The square balls might not roll And they have handles instead of holes But having lots of fun is not the primary goal At Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley You can only bowl three frames every hour To guard against carpal tunnel They still have Rock-n-Bowl, but not at the same time To guard against fire, he took out the fryer And there is no food you can eat with your hands But you can have all of the beer that you want When you get home From Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley Free earplugs to deaden the sound And the balls only weigh three pounds But there's a Starbucks inbetween every single lane At Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley And a brand-new, state-of-the-art digital scoring system But we can't figure out how to use it Right next door to Chick McGee's Pocket-Pool Hall Mr. Safety's Bowling Alley