Patrick Murphy - Loathe Thy Neighbor lyrics

[Verse 1] Picture an elderly lady peeking through her blinds You wave her a friendly hello, while she glares with judging eyes Her gla**es held by chains on pointy 1960s frames They help her see your faults as she's squinting with disdain A retired English teacher with an overwhelming fragrance Still alive, too stubborn to die, and d**h don't have the patience She has more cats than children by an order of magnitude And whenever she loses at bingo, she takes it out on you [Skit 1] Calls the cops on her rotary phone Every time you try to mow the lawn [Pre-Chorus] Close your blinds, lock your doors (Evil Wench) I mind my business, now you mind yours (Nosy b**h) Keep to yourself and stay off my gra** (Cranky Hag) Now get off my porch and get off my a** (YEAH!) [Chorus] Get off my a** Go back inside Stay in your home Leave me alone Get off my a** (get off my a**!) Go back inside (Go back inside!) Stay in your home. (Stay in your home!) Leave me alone (Leave me alone) [Verse 2] Imagine a jerk in his 40s In front of the broke down house that he rents Not all that bright, chugging Natural Light Flicking cigarette bu*ts over your fence Screaming all day at his beat up truck that he always fails to repair More stains on his shirt than teeth in his mouth And he doesn't seem to care A former high school quarterback With delusions of long past glory Blasts 80s crap from his Pontiac As he tells you his whole life story He parks and blocks my driveway Then dumps his cup of tobacco spit Setting fireworks off after midnight? I'm about to lose my SHHH...temper [Skit 2] Mows his lawn at 2am (I sh** you not) He likes me, but I hate him Deadbeat dad, he doesn't pay child support He looks like Carl from Aqua teen Hunger force (huh... yeah!) [Pre-Chorus 2] Close your blinds, lock your doors (f**ing Hick!) I mind my business, now you mind yours (Stupid Douche!) Keep to yourself and stay off my gra** (Eat A Dick!) Now get off my porch and get off my a** [Chorus] Leave me alone (x4) [Skit 3] We all hate the HOA All the homes they look the same The mortgage states the house belongs to me You need to chill the f** out and get off of my property [Skit 4] Some are so friendly but Some of them are enemies Makes me neurotic and keeps me on guard Battling those neighbors with tolerant diplomacy Tempts me to empty my bleach on their yard [Outro] I pour bleach on your yard (I) Spelled "b*tch" on your lawn (Yeah) that's right. fu*k your gra** Loathe thy neighbor