Pa**ion (US) - Depression Sets In lyrics

What am I doing wrong here? Please tell me so I can make it right. I told myself it would never be this hard again. I promised myself it would get better, with my fingers crossed behind my back. I could see it falling apart from a mile away. Lie to me and tell me that I am really not this weak. If I can't trust myself, how can I trust another? What have I become? A hypocrite? A cynic? A failure? A disgrace? A joke? Alone? If only I could start all over. You would trust me. I would not judge you. You would not look down upon me. You would look up to me. You would not laugh at me. You would only love me. I've been pushed away for the last time and I'm about to cross that line. It is begining to set in and I have never been more afraid. Tell me there is no chance and I will say my goodbyes. I don't want to die alone but I'll be damned if I wait a lifetime for the Answer to all of lifes questions. I don't want to die alone