Gonna get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says Gonna get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says And even if I feel like her manager or Her pa**enger or her furniture Gonna get me a friend and do whatever she says Gotta get me a girlfriend, ooh, before I get lost Gotta get me a girlfriend, ooh, whatever the cost Even if she's an alcoholic An impossible genius like J-Jackson Pollack Gotta get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says Gotta get it together, forever, with my swan Gotta get it together, forever, like we're swans I don't care if she's a nun or a bawd Either way's the way that pleases the Lord Get me a girlfriend and do whatever she does, or does not, want I'll be lucky to get me one undiseased and poor I'll be lucky to get me one what am filthy and rich ‘Cause you can't stay liquid all your life And a girlfriend helps to solidify Get me a girlfriend and do whatever she says If she breaks my heart I know what to do, I'll be fine Gotta tell her story better than she's gonna tell mine ‘Cause "what" has "how," and "where" has "when," but "Why" is lonely and without a friend Get me a girlfriend, do whatever she says