Oliver Reed - Bernie's Holiday Camp lyrics

Frank: I'm your friendly green coat And I welcome you to Bernie's Holiday Camp One day and you'll be happy It's Bernie you will thank You must be little Tommy Well call me Uncle Frank Welcome you too, Mrs. Walker Here you'll always find a helping hand The camp with the extras (I'm in chalet number eleven) When you come to Bernie's You might think you're in heaven Tommy: Didn't know I had an Uncle Frank I've never met him, have I? Look there, Mum, a cage of budgies Swimming pool and donkey rides, all free! It's all free, Mum! Frank: Here we have the winner, folks Have you ever seen a lovelier pair? What a shapely ankle What a perfect shin If you could feel this silken thigh You'd know who has to win If you could feel this silken thigh You'd know... Nora: You don't know how much I've missed To feel a man again to dance, to kiss Frank: Your eyes reveal you're lonely Nora: This evening must pa** slowly Until we're one my heart won't rest Will Tommy share our happiness? You don't know how much I've missed To feel a man again to dance, to kiss Frank: Of course he will I'll make him smile I'll take him out to cinemas and fairs Football and cricket There'll never be a happier lad I'll be more than an Uncle I'll be just like a Dad Tommy: I will be a green coat, too And when I'm big, I'll own a holiday camp A camp with a difference Always be good weather When you come to Tommy's The holiday's forever Nora: I'm glad you like your Uncle Frank He'll surely love you, too Just like a Dad Tommy: He's very nice, I think Did he fight in the war? Tommy and Nora: When he's got his greencoat on I love him even more