Ogden Nash - To My Valentine lyrics

More than a catbird hates a cat Or a criminal hates a clue Or the Axis hates the United States That's how much I love you I love you more than a duck can swim And more than a grapefruit squirts I love you more than a gin rummy is a bore And more than a toothache hurts As a shipwrecked sailor hates the sea Or a juggler hates a shove As a hostess detests unexpected guests That's how much you I love I love you more than a wasp can sting And more than the subway jerks I love you as much as a beggar needs a crutch And more than a hangnail irks I swear to you by the stars above And below, if such there be As the High Court loathes perjurious oathes That's how you're love by me