O'fficial (Battle Rapper) - Dizaster vs O'fficial lyrics

[Round 1: Dizaster] Now before you agreed to this battle you kept on backing out like a nervous little who*e Debo had to convince me, "Nah, she knows she's getting a good look, she's gonna push more Trust me Diz' she's coming to cook." I told him, "Of course she's coming to cook, that's all these b**hes are good for." That and going unnoticed by the men they spend five hours a day in front of the mirror trying to look good for Cause you're a bunch of retarded wanna be Instagram models Who dropped out of college so you're taught to rely on your looks more Your knowledge consists of pockets, wallets and dollars that's all you chicken heads look for Debo thinks the problem with these b**hes gotta get booked more I think the problem is these b**hes gotta start reading books more You hate it when we call you "b**hes" don't you, you b**hes? You'd rather a man to treat you nicely and put a price tag on your p**y and spoil you b**hes Y'all some gold diggers, you don't even appreciate what we doing for you For example, I'm giving you exposure After me, everyone around the globe is gonna of you b**hes Who said chivalry was dead? I'm out here opening up the door for these b**hes Look, I'm trying to be fair, but you tell me a woman 'bout to have full military power, I kinda get scared She starts PMSing, nukes start flying through air Yo, you think under a woman's leadership in a f**ing war that we have time to prepare? A b**h?! A b**h needs an hour and forty five minutes just to decide what to wear I'm about to body this s*ut Most black girls get it from they mama, you know, they gotta a lotta junk all in their trunk But when she was born she came out backwards, God put it all in the front Looking like a f**ing chocolate fudge, marshmallow puff, Jabba The Hutt Men don't like to argue, you b**hes always start sh** with us You wanna talk all this "equal rights" til someone ends up socking you up And it's "How could you hit a girl?", well you can play that card if you want This gon' be like date night with Ray Rice, b**h I do not give a f** Listen, you got demolished by Luck You had one job only and you f**ed all of it up I'm not a misogynist but I'm confident you're an incompetent c*nt Thank God you ain't the broad that's running in office next month Cause if you were nominated then we all would be f**ed You got a voice like Hillary and a body like Trump This b**h looks like that big a** bullet they use to chase after us in Super Mario 1 Yo, this broad is done I'm sorry hon' Where you get your body from? Magic Johnson's son? You b**hes cried for a president til you got what you b**hes wanted Yo, she got into the f**ing presidential sh**, she rigged the whole election process The votes got turned into ballots, have millions of voters missing on it They took the flip and they scripted off of us This is the f**ing living proof that b**hes should never be allowed to run on a pole unless they are the ones stripping on it She wants to finish college No one wants to hear a dumb b**h get philosophic about stock markets and economics Or any other geo-political topics Get a real job b**h Name one thing Big you've accomplished besides looking like Christopher Wallace And that's why we treat you b**hes like physical objects Cause you could pick any b**h to run Whether it's Hillary Rodham Clinton or not, it makes no difference regardless Monica Lewinsky is the only b**h that knew how to play her position in office Yeah, s** my dick You wanna be a battle MC? Well you better man up The question is, how much of a man can she be When Debo is living proof she looks for a father figure in a dad in every single man that she sees Yeah, yeah you wanna be a battle MC? How you b**hes gonna stand and be free When your best can't even stand up to me f** what you b**hes stand for this b**h can't even stand when she pees f** you! [Round 1: O'fficial] They said, "O'fficial versus Dizaster" I couldn't make it any faster I knew he was gonna come with a lot of jokes so be prepared for plenty laughter But I ain't scared I went state to state to get this ba*tard I'm from New Orleans, I've already been face to face with a disaster/Dizaster So this is the b**h n***a that ch'all stay claiming? Well I'll catch this n***a on the Lord Day playing Beat his legs with a bat, leave him in the hallway laying Y'all will see Disney (Diz' knee) On Ice if he come in this broad way (Broadway) playing f** D joy, I'll get D toy and pop til he destroyed You don't want to give up the details gon' get you tramped, see D coy I put my soldiers in position, they already know it's deploy I tell 'em, "move", "wait" (weight), "around the block" for D boys I wonder how you f** Diz' You be mad as f** Diz'? Hitting her with all your aggression Prolly one sad as f** Diz' Do you slap her in the face, call her all kind of "c*nt" "who*e"? Then let her put the dil*o in your a** until she make your bu*t sore What for? Cause your dad didn't like you a child and your mom hasn't Skyped you in awhile And your boyfriend doesn't pipe you and smile And when people look at you they think of ISIS and halal? You ISIS member who inspired inner Kylie Jenner father's gender That's how he rap, I rap like you'll get several casts when that metal blasts I had to blow the cartridge, my Sega bad This like your battle with PH, the worst Dizaster you ever had You forever trash, all he gon' do is be racist and talk about my Heavy Bags Wanna know what rhymes with "Dizaster"? (What?) "Small dick" But whenever he pissed his dick and his balls stick Whenever he f** a b**h he make her walls itch Can't even keep a hand job that's what I call sick So I'ma leave this dick bumpy for thinking he can mess with me So I'ma give Diz-ease and I ain't talking 'bout an STD So all that talk gon' get you beat for trying See I keep the piece and I violence He won't speak a peep when I reach the wire Silencer on the weapon, that's my definition of peace/piece and quiet I see you going around the country doing your thing Dizaster Enjoying your fame Dizaster? But you always come with the same bullsh** freestyles I'd be ashamed Dizaster It's like a cyclone, typhoon, hurricane Know why I say the name Dizaster? Cause no matter what part of the world you hit you're basically the same disaster First round: personal, second round: bars Third round y'all gon' regret putting this b**h on y'all card [Round 2: Dizaster] Now that first round I hit you with a bunch of misogynistic, s*uts and b**hes A couple of crude lines But I know she's a f**ing virgin I know she's a good girl I can tell the innocence in baby boo's eyes She's only been with like two guys, both of those dudes died...suicide Don' y'all find it mad odd, they put a battle rap god versus a fat broad that looks like Balrog You know what I think of when I see fat broads? Hand jobs You and Black Rob have matching dad bods You look like every single mom from Jerry Springer Wife this b**h? I wouldn't put a ring on her middle finger Maybe cause she literally looks like a seal...the animal and the singer And one thing you should always remember, is b**hes don't even get along with b**hes They got problems bonding together They talk sh**, gossip and bicker Since you like to argue with chicks I'ma let you talk to this temper You stupid b**h, you should be glad you not born as the opposite gender Cause if you did the world would've gotten an extra Three 6 Mafia member Look at this f**ing retarded b**h She's an easy target that's why I wanted to pick her I knew it would be a homicide regardless behind the bars that I give her She never had a chance she Sandra Bland, this b**h was dead before she got in the picture They say, "Take it easy on her Diz' you're gonna k** her." Y'all motherf**ers is tripping, take it easy on her how? Like, just slide the tip in? You're the first fat b**h to make Summer Madness history Congratulations, you want a cookie b**h? That ain't sh** to me Next time I go to New York it's going to be a disaster literally I'ma take a sh** on the f**ing the Statue of Liberty And fly back home to Cali with Jaz The Rapper's virginity Look at this desperate little f**ing b**h She ain't even know how a dick feel Check the purse her bag probably got a toy in it like a kid's meal I'ma keep an eye out for this b**h like k** Bill Cause I'm the real deal, I'll windmill a b**h through the windshield And toss her in the trunk next to the spare tire since she's used to riding along as the fifth wheel You gon' get bodied out here b**h the sh**'s real You better off with a slave owner than getting caught in this field Whoa I'm giving y'all that sick feel That, watching Billy Bob Thornton f** Haley Berry all over again feel That, I could murder this b**h with my filler only No punchlines, no hay makers, she'll get ripped still I get rid of chick faster than Princess Diana, my setups alone are enough to get a b**h k**ed I'm giving her no breaks Get it? No breaks Just cause she's a girl you think I'ma be rapping nicer? b**h welcome to the man's battle cipher I'll punch this ratchet then shove a ax inside her Split her in half, I'll even stay on the crime scene til the cops arrive and the ambulances find her Cause when it's hard times every woman needs a real man to stand beside her Yeah b**h you smell like cocoa bu*ter moisturizer You got the bone structure of a Toyota Four Runner or a sports Hummer You look like Bone Crusher with a vagina This b**h got shoulders like a 49er, this b**h look like a tow truck driver You wanna be a man? I'll treat her like a normal fighter I'll knock out the testosterone she got stored inside her b**hes can get stole on like Winona Ryder And stop acting tough b**h, you ain't a gang banger Only time you press heat to someone's head when you using a hair straightener The only thing you've ever squeezed is your own big a** body into a waist trainer You dumb b**h I know you motherf**ers watching, nah you ain't stopping me Shut the f** up b**h you owe me an apology Just cause I'm acting like a dick head you ain't gon' cut me off I ain't gon' let you Lorena Bobbitt me {O'fficial pushes Dizaster away from her} [Dizaster] You're lucky I don't push b**hes! You're lucky I don't push b**hes! [Round 2: O'fficial] Battle Of The Sexes? I was like, "Lock it in" As long as the bread is hefty that I'm pocketing Some told me, "Just do it. sh**. You ain't gotta win." Well I'm 'bout to show y'all how to snap on a n***a and take his oxygen, that co*ky then And I'm get to taking your life, snaking your wife Peep the strap on, you ain't facing a dyke I be quick to get over when I'm making a right This Arab going camo' (camel) get the Desert like Arabian Night You f**ing coke head, you should already know it's dope After you get the ring, your best man can hold the toast I'll hit the spirit in his body, he'll be a holy ghost It's ironic, y'all got me facing the b**b, that's a motor boat And you battled Ca**idy and thought you was the GOAT I see the people has blind him, you got your a** whooped Thought you was gon' get a record deal then your shine dimmed Now the record labels pay you no mind and you weeping in silence He figure since he got on cast that the people will sign him I came to campaign and show you how it's all gunning You need to chill with the multi's player, if your broad coming She a double jump off One Call of Duty my dawgs coming And they gon' PlayStation in your X-Box til the kids on her walls running You only nice cause you okay with the rhyming You be trying to out rap n***as but the whole basis is timing Diz' [?] at a sleeper cell, he's only here cause he was late for the bombing He hate me though, that's cool You lost to Ca**idy and he ain't win a battle since Freeway was on the radio I know you seen my titties, sh** I need the support I stay banging the hammer and not the one you seeing in court Now he trying to get away like he need a resort Leave his head here, send her back home since you need to deport And speaking of deporting, you better hope Donald Trump don't become president brother man Cause he's gonna deport your a** But on the other hand I'ma get deported too, at least I can go back to the motherland He gotta go back to the village where the Army left your mother laying You can't even knock Math out with a clean shot You a queen Ahk' I could've hit Math harder than that with a paper and a sling shot Bring cops, I still would've let that thing rock I would've can' D (candy) for that s**er punch when I make it Ring Pops You? You be Wild N Out for the Canon But you never got the Clips Your Hitman Conceited we all know he still won't get the fifth This sh**? Like gratuity you still gon' get the gon' get the tips Just cause he do rant (Durant) on the team he still won't get the chips Flatline [Round 3: Dizaster] b**h You hoes ain't sh** that's why we don't trust you together Y'all b**hes act like you gon' go down in history as some type of innovators like you're so f**ing clever Only thing you b**hes are gonna be known for is ruining Ghostbusters forever They tell me why don't I invest in b**hes Because business doesn't mix with pleasure Now they think they gon' take our jobs like they can fulfill our positions better b**h whatever Yo, going to the bathroom with each other is the only time you b**hes have your sh** together I used to date a b**h like her, she used to tell me "Diz', if you gon' stay with me you better start paying I'm serious, you better pitch in I ain't playing A real man is a good listener." And I was like, "My bad. What were you saying?" She said, "Exactly, that's what it is with all of you men." I'm like, "C'mon don't make this a big deal. You got my full attention. Run it back and begin." She said, "What I was saying was, us women need a raise from the cla** that we in And we wanna stop being hara**ed by these men." And I was like...."My bad. I just got distracted again." This b**h acting like she's hard like her lead be busting Like a Tec and her Smith & Wessun be dumping b**h you ain't finna hit nothing You gon' get stretched out and pressed on like every dress you get stuck in What you really need to do is pay attention to your digestive consumption Really listen to your gut because it's telling you something There's a reason that you never fit nothing Cause you're better built for someone into heavy construction or WWF wrestling or something Looking like Jennifer Hudson lesbian husband I don't wanna put you down like that O'fficial, I'm trying to give you help I'm trying to tell you the real so you handle yourself I wanna give you all the nutrition you need so you can build yourself The quickest way for a fat b**h to lose weight...is to k** yourself You stupid b**h Why is it every time you sleep with a guy They leave with the same feeling inside like a piece of them died Why is it that you think you still s**y? I think I know why her self esteem is so high This b**h is like Monique on board Soul Plane this fat b**h really thinks that she's fly I hope this chick here is ready to get her sh** aired I swear on everyone of Ciara's little lip hairs That I'm barely gonna give her a square inch where she could flinch Then it's kick, snare, Rick's flair/Flare this b**h into mid-air Then smash her in the face with a WWF chair b**hes get executed on sight like Saudi Arabian women in swim wear She's trying to give me that big stare like she ready to take that sh** there Knowing this Air N B airhead b**h is Blair Witch scared Yeah, she's scared to d**h I'm gonna titty f** her to d**h on her tits bare And leave a thick layer of jizz there I'll treat your tits like Mike Tyson, have a cemetery and I'll bury my kids there She holding her f**ing-got her waist tuck Holding her frame up with her f**ing taped up stomach Yo, the heaviest bag you've ever caught in your life is your ow make up luggage Just looking at a b**hes face once you can tell that they make up stuff for the f** of it Yo, this b**h makes me want to Bill Cosby slip something in her drink and drug it If she don't pa** out I'll punch her in her face and f** it Now that I think about it I'm worse than Bill Cosby Cause if I put a b**h to sleep she ain't gonna wake up from it Mad at me cause you can't keep a guy in your life Maybe you could if you didn't rap like such a violent dyke She mad no one want to supply her the pipe Running up in every cipher like, "It's O'fficial, you can get the .45 or the knife If one of y'all don't f** me someone gonna end up dying tonight." I don't know what the f** is wrong with her This b**h looks like Rah Digga crossed with Godzilla Even after a thousand shots of Vodka I would not kiss her Cause there's no amount of hard liquor to get me to look past your Rick Ross figure And the fact that you look like Marv's sister Time b**h [Round 3: O'fficial] I said I'm ready to beat a n***a So don't make me start hooking I mean I wasn't surprised how he quick to insult women Well if you don't wanna be left red/read it's only right/write you start booking And since I belong in the kitchen it's only right I start cooking Start crooking sh**, I say start crooking cause sh** I get better with time Look at my eyes G I got an extended clip that sh** better than Vine See Diz', and real n***as would never combine I wonder if this dick can make this p**y wetter than mine I had to stop horsing around to come out this stable Look down syndrome (hit drums) at your kid I hit cradle Parkinson [?] just for telling this fable So I have to handicap (hand these caps) since y'all thinking that Diz able (disable) You the most wanted, so it's only right that you get head shots You done fell in (felon) some sh** in your own yard, you Craig pops No, you getting trashed in your own yard you Redd Foxx I got a buck that'll get something for all y'all to watch like Redbox You'll be watching balls over the net, and it's not tennis He want us to be blind here to the fact he ride men (Rodman) like Denis When I pop, I ain't coming out the can' without spinach Watch how the Rock land on your Earth it's not Plymouth Watch how the kid use the toilet (toy let) me go get the potty Cause he gon' sh** himself whenever I get the shotty I'm standing in front your goal, watch how I switch to hockey He light as a feather so I'ma leave him stiff as a board when my two fingers lift a body And I heard you used to play professional soccer sh**, I know you used to go hard for the bread Didn't shock me, the fact Diz' like balls on his head I mean damn So it's only right that I came and I beat this p**y with a smile He's so excited to battle me cause he ain't been this close to a p**y in awhile I got a [?] with these fits, I will never let the pa** slide I just Rock this n***a Vin Diesel style with a Fast 5 Everybody in the crowd know it's about that time This n***a career is an underscore, flat line