Noël Coward - Imagine The Duchess's Feelings! lyrics

The duchess had manner, for dignity lurks In the shadows of Debret. But fate threw a spanner smack into the works, Tarnishing her coronet. Three large sons were born to her, But one sad morn to her, There came a premonition of regret Said the duchess "Well— Something doesn't gel." Said the duchess. "Well! Hell!" Imagine the duchess's feelings, On having hatched out her brood, To find her first son was weak, though well-mannered, Her second rather stupid, And the third plain rude. Her eldest son, when in trouble, went white Her second son looked blue and hung his head But imagine the duchess's feelings, When her youngest son went red! She sent them to Etton, traditional youth Was theirs whatever else they've got But nothing could sweeten the bitterest truth, That baby wasn't quite so hot High life gave no joy to him. The hoi polloi to him, Provided something that his peers did not. Said her grace aghast, "Is it going to last?" Said her grace aghast, "Blast!" Imagine the Duchess's feelings— You could have pierced her with swords— When she discovered her youngest, liked Lenin, And sold the Daily Worker near the House of Lords Her eldest son went to Boodle's and White's Her second joined the blues his father led But imagine the Duchess's feelings, When her youngest son went Red. Imagine the duchess's feelings Her overwhelming despair To find her third son hobnobbed with the butler, And sang The Internationale in Belgrave square Her first son's debts bled the family white Her second son blu'd everything and fled— But imagine the Duchess's feelings, When the apple of the eye went Red, Poor mammy, Her youngest son went red.