Circa 1992, Hitchens faxed his copy through As Regards Columbus Day If you’ll permit me the conceit of a posthumous critique I’ll paraphrase: My colorful, exotic friend Respectable, well spoken Unlike the rest of them As you know, I’m color-blind and you’re a credit to your kind This silly talk of resurgence, ceremony, communion with An unconquered natural world Tell me, where is your gratitude for all we’ve done for you? This paradise. Eden. Empire. Kingdom This boundless epoch we’ve bestowed Upon your savage, empty lands Well, of course mistakes were made But as far as human progress goes Welcome to a slightly higher plane Of innovation and opportunity For your trampled communities The treaties that we broke The lands that we filched The settlements put to the torch The children we abused All for your own good, of course It happens to be the way history has been made Don’t go play with a toy gun or change lanes without signalling Don’t comply, don’t resist ‘Cause it don’t make no difference Comply? Resist? No difference Resist? Comply? You die The funny names you give your kids The silly ways you do your hair The jungle music that you blare We snicker and we sneer, for they do not revere The incessant gadgetry we incessantly deploy To incessantly extract and incessantly destroy You don’t worship us Oh, why don’t you worship us? Resist? Comply? You die”