Night Birds - Neon Gray lyrics

I'm always sick I know they'll never find a cure The stomach bile's just the promise of a future cancer Ill choke the acid back and just get by And I'll avoid thinking about how soon I'm gonna die But if they had a remedy if they somehow find a way To end this anxious nausea or just keep it at bay When they'd peer in my insides I know just what they'll say It's Neon Gray I'll die alone I know that there's no f**ing doubt I know I'll never find someone who gets what I'm about I've tried but it's the same all in the end They want to take so much I know I can never let them in And if I can find someone who can take my nervous hand Calm my ba*tard temper and maybe somehow understand When she'd look into my eyes, she'd see in my dull gaze It's Neon Gray Neon Gray, Neon Gray – you're a broken human being You're a thing you shouldn't say The medication wears off by the darkening of the day Every day that you breathe air it's Neon Gray I've thought about ending it all so many times Spinning awake each night I plan it all out in my mind I've fantasized about how the hell and when But I can never do it no matter how much I intend The same thing that drives me to utter misery It won't let me end my life, no, not so easily The fear of the unknown will drag me to my end of days It's Neon Gray