Nick Conser - Internal War lyrics

I never contemplaited from adolescence to a man Why I'm so quiet, with little friends Could the reason be I'm whispering to spirits? Apparitions inside my head I tried fighting off the demons Until they showed me what I needed Conjuring emotions and violent solutions I let them burrow deeper and posses a part of me Now I am one with the damned! They're f**in tempting me! The tension keeps rising! Tell me it's alright to make wreckless decisons Assert my vengeance! I want to force them to feel what it's like to be Still covered in the scars of past oppressors Fortunately, I healed faster indulging in grief Still, I'll never forgive what was done to me! My escape is empty highways A simple pen serves well as my weapon After being held captive Slightly considering d**h Once one thing I loved was robbed from me Slicing a knife through the wrist was the first and final attempt Leaving behind the mental abuse and emotional stress I'm harmed, but finally free When I think about it, I don't need help I just inflicted scars to watch myself bleed Maybe to realize how damaged I am internally No longer supressing memories, the past had to be released! I'm not miserable now Still you couldn't handle what transpires within my dreams Incessant rambling, horrific crime scenes If there was a god, he's punishing me For years of defiance and blasphemy Where was my calm before or after the strom? Even when I reach R.E.M. my mind is still at war