I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man I like to get hammered On Friday night Sometimes I can't wait So Monday's alright It's a battle with the bottle I'll win it alright But I lost another round In the bar last night I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man Yeah, I'm gonna get fired For drinkin' on the job Got caught with the boss's wife In the parking lot I'm gonna get k**ed For doin' this again But I just can't help it It's under my skin I'm a dirty old man I do what I can I'm gonna get hammered And do it again I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man Got a bag of frozen peas I use on my knees I injured from beggin' And tryin' to please If you believe that I'm losing my fat Got a workout program And a new rubber mat I'm a dirty old man I do what I can Tryin' to make a livin' I'm a dirty old man I'm a dirty old man