N.O. Joe - Suicide Note lyrics

[Verse 1:] You was playin' when you was sayin' you was ready I'm knowin' you ain't mean it when you told me you was tired of life And just wanted to leave it you was drinkin' So I ain't really pay it no attention Took you back to your crib and dropped you off With the intention of gettin' with this Asian b**h I've been off in Visionz, somethin' exquisite I had to spit that game, she was vicious I'm hoppin' back on 6-10 punchin' the drop On my way out to her house I started noticing cops Somethin' tellin' me to turn around and follow these dudes Normally I wouldn't consider but out of the blue I'm bustin' a U I get off where they get off at Well-familiar with these streets, this where I came up at Roadblocks, yellow tape, "a crime scene" they say What the f** just happened? I just left this place... I get out and started walkin' askin' Frog, "What's up?" Lookin' at me dazed like, "Face, it's all f**ed up..." I move a little closer tryin' to see who it is And I saw his baby mama in tears holdin' his kids... [Hook] I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain whats going on in me Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be [Verse 2] And it was then it finally hit me I'm standing here nervous as I can be It was nothing that can prepare me for what I'm finna see I'm praying this is a dream and I'm bout to awake But the closer I got the more I realize fate Wasn't fair to change for me And why would I think so My homie had a date with d**h He had to make though I'm feelin' eerie, I'm liftin' up the yellow tape By the time I get to the scene They rollin' this away I wonder whats under this sheet, my knees get weak To the point I had to take me a seat This sh**'s deep When they put a n***a down that you was raised around What was once a minor statement's turnin' major now Never woulda thought in years that my homie was suicidal Had it all; money and kids and a wife that read the bible They say it's life and d**h in the slum He had his reasons I shoulda believed him Anotha soul no longer breathin' Hate to say it but this one been heavy on my conscience My nonchalantness just took a life over some nonsense [Hook] I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain whats going on in me Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be [Verse 3] And everybody thinkin' it's murder, but homicide sayin' self-inflicted By the way the body was sitting, brains in the kitchen Who coulda predicted But the detectives who was fishin' f**ed up that the family had to see dad in his position All I remember was us doin' what we did To survive in these streets where we lived We was kids growin' up in this environment Nothing but trouble You either struggled or you hustled Folded the bubble Grade school til we dropped out, we had a plan We was either finna be rich or die like a man We did it all for the love of the hood, every journey Imagine seein' your dawg lifeless across a gurney I wonder what was goin' on You shoulda said that you was feelin' mad I coulda talked you outta that But never will I see you again Nor will your kids Nor will your family or your friends It's the end Not even words I write in this song Can right that wrong My n***a is gone and life goes on [Hook] I ain't whole in the inside I'm hurting I can't explain whats going on in me Stop it now with all the lies I'm knowing this ain't how my life's supposed to be