Mystery Science Theater 3000 - Godzilla Genealogy Bop lyrics

[Crow T. Robot] I'm confused. Uh, just who is this Godzilla guy? [Tom Servo] Yes, wise one. Please, teach us [Joel Robinson] I don't know if you're ready for this [Tom/Crow] Oh, please Mr. Joel. Please! Come on. Please! Please! Please! Please! Please! [Joel] Okay, my little robot friends, but we only pa** this way once. This is called the "Godzilla Genealogy Bop." Would you hit it, Professor Cambot? In order to know Godzilla, we've got to look into his past [Crow] You know studying genealogy is gonna be a blast [Joel] Ah, you've got it little robot pal, we're swinging into high [Tom] Come on, let's cut to the chase you couple of geeks And get to the family tree! [Crow] Huh? [Joel] Well, it started with a nuclear blast and pets that were released [Tom] Oh, like-- [Tom/Crow] --baby alligators and other nasty beasts? [Joel] Right The fusion reaction caused them to grow a thousand times their size [Tom] Oh [Crow] Well, that explains Godzilla's attractive tail and thunderous thighs! [Joel] Right [Tom] Ah! [Joel] Now you're getting it little buddy-- [Crow] Ah! [Joel] --but now we must move on [Tom] Uh huh [Joel] Godzilla's not the only one to benefit from the A-bomb [Tom] Yeah, look, there's Aunty Ness from Scotland's Loch, they married in the spring And their first-born was Godzooky, and now we begin to sing! [Crow] Godzookie went to Hollywood, an agent to the stars He had an affair with Lorna Luft and smoked those big cigars [Tom] And outta the lusty Luft affair Ron Perlman resulted. Huh [Joel] You know, surgery was considered for him, but nobody was consulted! Oh, I did it again [Crow] Then Ron met Yoko Ono, and they began to spawn A couple of hundred horrible things as green as Forest Lawn [Tom] There they are: there's Kermit the Frog The Swamp Thing, Hulk, and Ernest Borgnine too! [Crow] But Ernest Borgnine isn't green! [Tom] Well ya put him on a boat and he is! [Joel/Crow] What? [Tom] Hey! Who's that at the bottom, a-wallowin' in his shame? [Crow] Oh, that's just Steve Guttenberg of Police Academy fame [Tom] Huh [Joel] To wrap it up, the worst mutation... [Crow] No, you don't suppose?! [Tom] Oh, yes it is, the horror of horrors-- [Tom/Crow] --Karl Malden's nose!