Mr. Porter - Tim Westwood Freestyle lyrics

[Eminem] Yo blast me off, Tim, blast me off, son Blastin' off right now son PART ONE [Verse 1: Eminem] I wasn't born mean, I was pushed to treachery I walk the streets looking for some puss to fetch me I'm like a veggie, brain is turned to mush, I'm edgy Edgy enough to give Reggie Bush a wedgie If he don't gimme Kim, things could get messy So pa** that a** to me let me squish the left cheek And press against the right one till it's smushed against me And leave a dead body in the woods, the MC With the Christopher Reeve beef We started out on the wrong foot Or should I say fake leg made outta wood I shouldn't, yes I should Riding through the hood, I'm chillin' with Westwood I'm quite mellow, a white fellow My pee is bright yellow, I like Jello I'm like hello to a cute little dyke on the mic I'm kinda like Iron Mike cause I bite earlobes [Verse 2: Mr. Porter] See I'm the first one to cla** and the last to leave I mean the first one to leave outta cla**, believe That I'm a mailbox pimp in my heart till I die Even after I'm all gone and my ashes fried Went from an ashy guy cla** clown as high To a grown a** man stacking pa-per Runyon Ave.'s the clique , D12's the game We've been spitting this (sh**) Since we were little bébés Gaga goo goo nana, nadi do do never Word to my homie Em, I'm just too too clever A 4-5 shot and leave a n***a's face lop-sided The kick from the barrel make you think I'm co*k-eyed it When I bust it out off in the crowd, you start diving Greg Louganis went over the bar I ain't lying Hot Iron lethals not defying a soldier Runyon Ave. soldier equals d**h when it's over It's none colder than (a n***a) understand the struggle Apply the street-muscle we've been had to hustle We've been had to hustle, we've been had to muscle Apply the street hustle, we've been had to hustle [Verse 3: Eminem] Aight, aight Me and Westwood blastin' off, jackin' off In a pair of acid washed bumpin' Asher Roth Cruisin Gratiot til I damn near crash the car Tryna smash 'em off in the dash, hit the overpa**, went off Over the bridge into oncoming traffic Caused a ma**ive forty-two car pile-up, not a scratch at all Hopped up holding an axe and saw Jason mask is off when my face is plastered in tabasco sauce Spitting flames, kickin' fire out your a** you little ba*tard You can pa** it on, I'm battery acid dog You don't wanna get my a** ticked off I'm harder than playing basketball when I'm going through crack withdrawal Dick so big it's like elastic I tie it in a knot and it looks like Mr. Fantastic Crossed the path of Plastic Man with a drastic force And went spastic, put my penis on cla**ic sports PART TWO [Eminem] Once again it's the sinister, cynical, minister Shady Kryptonite to Superman, he's a dentist to Amy Administer of the pain, just finished, huffing the paint And muffled the fumes like it was nothing because it ain't Anything in his way, his enemies he just slays His venom he spray, reaches like beams of energy rays Menacing stares, he glares making the hairs All on the back of your neck stand Like Dracula yep Spectacular rep, he's a tarantula, gargantuan Yah, Angela so I command you to start dancing Part Manson, part Hannibal, part mechanical shark Throwing animal parts at Scarlett Johansen Enter my gas chamber, ya gangsta, my a** He's got his fangs to your neck, he's set to strangle ya a**, hater You're facing a task greater, he's chasing your a** He's got his face in a mask, your blood stains on his gla** table I'm checking the exposure, a full dose of me exposing Myself locked inside of a cozy hotel posing With or without clothing, next to the decomposing Bodies eroding while I'm dozing off overdosing Windows opening-shutting, doors opening-closing I think there's a ghost, too much hydrocodone and Codeine I was only supposed to swallow a half, I took the whole thing I'm not joking, I think I just snorted my nose ring I need a drink, I'm standing over the sink posing Myself, self-loathing, cause I'm on a brink, mostly I don't wanna think this will make everything rosey Beverly sings, scream while I'm severing three toesies Totally frozen while I close in, I'm yodelling Rosey, won't you come out to play A nuisance, wasting time, cutting and pasting headlines In the papers making shrines of my crimes and capers My words are whirlwinds, I murder my girlfriends Go to Europe and put neurofens in my syrup and stirred em You never heard him like this, so don't encourage him The neurosurgeon, coke mirrors, and lyrics worse than The kinda person to get Katie Couric to cursin' Eighty spirits of ladies 'cause Shady murdered the virgins Crazy turn of events and then he emerged Took over the world and reeled in all the children Lured em into the building and k**ed em Buried em in the mulch and mildew and he will Do what he feels and still can spin Straw into gold like Rumpelstiltskin Cotton to silk, Motrin to Tylenol - three pills, the Real Slim Shady's entered the building There's nothing but crumbled leaves and Tumbleweeds up in this b**h, Mildrid He's ill wit it, he still shouldn't be healed There's no one as sick as he, MC's Will get frica**eed on the grill then PART THREE [Verse 1: Eminem] You wanna start with the hook first You wanna start with the...oh I have no idea what I'm doing, I have no idea what I'm doing, but Everybody get up, sit up Christopher They're miserable without you, Superman is a- Live and he's flowin' like the Mystic River Girl, don't act like you've never been kissed before One, two, three, four, five, six, this uh Rhyme is about to hit you right in the kisser How did anybody ever find me I disa- Peared I was hiding in Freeway's beard, just a Hop, skip and a jump from my skin gushing Nails into my face that I been pushing Hellraiser, my face is my pin cushion It's like when I'm on the mic I can squish a s**er like a vice grip, my pen put you In the slaughterhouse cause your style's been butchered I'll spin chainsaw, take off like the blades on, my brains on Hyperdrive, someone put the brakes on [Hook: Eminem and Mr. Porter] Here's a smidgen, a midget to get your digits Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice Now here's a smidgen, a midget to get your digits Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice [Verse 2: Mr. Porter] I got it figured out now n***a, see My mind's right, money right Can't nobody stoppin' how I get it In hindsight I never shoulda left where I was livin' I probably wouldn't be getting pressed by all these women But then again I wouldn't 'a met the ones that I was diggin' So now I like to look and talk a lot like She like Lil Kim and Kim and Serena Williams Just like my [ ] I'm a regular Charles Dickens b**h call me talking about she pregnant She crazy so I [ ] that ho and left baby I won't never trust her no sh** Even if she specialize in mouth ma**aging my testicles I never trust her, a ho, I, even on the first date She's basically getting her mouth raped Then turn around and ask me for a kiss "No b**h I'm straight" I've never really been concerned with how my own dick taste I think I'm about slip on my swag juice, swag juice I think I'm about to slip on your swag juice [Eminem] Oh no! Don't slip on your swag juice! [Mr. Porter] Yeah, yeah, I think I'm 'bout to slip on my swag juice! [Hook: Eminem and Mr. Porter] So here's a smidge and a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to figit with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slipping on my swag juice. Aright [Verse 3: Eminem] Slim is in the house, simmer down there sister Bound to get you dizzy 'cause he gets as busy as a Bee baby you could throw a Frisbee in a blizzard He'll catch it in his teeth, what is he, he's a wizard Standing in the disco with a disco biscuit And I'm pretty sure it isn't Bisquick, is it Now baby don't forget to bring your lipstick witcha I want the kiss before I blow this b**h to smitha- Reens, get the guillotines, this is a situ- Ation that's critical as Dre spins his, uh Turn tables and he cuts the record like a scissor Checka-chicky-checka-chicky-checka-checka-chicka We'll wreck it in a second tell me what the heck is sicker Wait a minute I just dropped my necklace in the liquor Now baby just to make a little breakfast and it's six o- Clock in the morning unless you want to get some dessert [Hook: Eminem and Mr. Porter] Here's a smidge and a midget to get your Bridgets, digit Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice I said, here's a smidge and a midget to get your digits, Bridget Don't try to fidget with it, ribbit ribbit I got you slipping on my swag juice, my swag juice I got you slipping on my swag, my swag juice [Epilogue: Eminem] Ayo, just so everybody knows, that was a hook we made on the way to the radio station and we were trying to get it right; So we may have f**ed it up a couple times or whatever; But, this is what we were trying to like work out before we came here. Especially for Westwood, man! ESPECIALLY for you homie!