Mr. Porter - The Reunion lyrics

Ayo, this next song, is a true story (Come here, b**h!) Cause some things in this universe Don't make sense but somehow, always seem to f**in' work Driving down I seventy five 'bout to hop on six ninety six I look over this f**ing chick's tryna fix her makeup I'm like b**h, you ain't a plastic surgeon I advise ya to put up your visor, I'm getting kinda ticked You're blocking my side mirror, she's like yeah, so? I'm like so? You gon' need a stitch you keep actin' like that, ho I look like your husband s*ut? That's a rhetorical question You talk to me like you talk to him, I'll f** you up In fact, get in the backseat, like the rest of my dates No b**h rides shotgun, what taxi? Stop and pick you some Maxi Pads up is that what you actually ask me? b**h reaches over and smacks me And says I annoy the f** outta her, get in the f**ing back Put on your s*ut powder, you s*ut, what? Shut the f** up now Or get your feelings hurt, worse than my last chick when I accidentally bu*t dialed her, she heard me spreading AIDS rumors about her Turn the radio up louder, make it thump While I bump that Relapse CD, tryna hit every bump in that c*nt Thought I snap back in that accent cause she kept asking me To quit callin' her c*nt, I said I c*nt, she said, Marshall You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart Uh, pull up to the club in a Porsche, not a Pinto While Marshall's at a white trash party, I'm at drama central I walk up in there looking at my phone, on Twitter tweetin' I'm feelin' a bunch of b**hes lookin' at a n***a, cheesin' I get approached by this little skeezer She asked me am I the realest G, cause I'm Gucci from head to feet I said, yeah, I'm really is cause I spit in your man's face Like Cam did that little kid on k**a Season She said I'm feeling a bit of ego, wait, am I talking wrong? I said nah, I'm a walking Kanye Beyonce song She said I'm mad at you, I said why? She said why you never make songs for chicks as if it's hard to do? I said I make songs for me, leave the studio And go and f** the b**h who belongs to who makin' songs for you She said I'm feelin' your whole swagger and flow, can we hook up? I said, um, you just used the word swagger, so no, she said You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart We been ridin' around in this hatchback 'til I'm f**ing hunchback Where the f**'s this party at s*utbag c*nt? Cut what act? Think it's an act? f** that, I'm tryna shag scuz Better find this love shack or somewhere to f** at, ah, don't touch that You fat dyke, I'm tryna hear some Bagpipes from Baghdad Don't act like you don't like 'em, them accents, I rap tight And I'm a torture you 'til we find this place, yeah that's right Thought it was just past this light, just past Van Dyke Better hit that map right, read them directions, oh yeah You can't read and you can't write, told me that last night She took my CD out the deck, snapped in half like Relapse s**ed, I snapped, hit the gas like Blew through the light, spun out, hit a patch of black ice Forgot we had a trailer hitch to the back, we jackknifed b**h flew out of the car, I laughed like, she deserved it She didn't think I'd act like that in person (Royce, Marshall just crashed right in front of the club!) Tell him I'll be there in a minute I'm tryna break up this cat fight between my mistress and my damn wife Then a chick wanted a hug, she was fat So I gave her dap and told her to scat, I'm not mean, I'm cute On my way to the front door, taking the scenic route To avoid this chick with a lace front lookin' like Venus and Serena's hooves I'm just sayin', those chicks got horse a**es, they been attractive Hope when they see me they don't slap me with they tennis rackets My mind drifted back to this sh** I seen my wife push her down, step over her body and smack the mistress Police outside, I turn and pa** the gat to Vicious Then I step out and see my evil twin, he gives me an evil grin He mugs the mistress, turns around and gives the misses hugs and kisses Looks at me twisted, like Nickel "Yeah, watch this sh**" He smacks the dentures outta the mouth of the fat b**h he rode with Looks back to mention, "Royce, it's good to be back to business" You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart You ain't really like that, oh You're putting on a show, where's your mic at? Cause you're breaking my heart She said you're breaking my heart