Mr. B The Gentleman Rhymer - Hermitage Shanks lyrics

I am the chappy Who's seen the bappies Of a thousand lappy la**es Clad in all the castle But probably not the ha**le My kazound's up in the wind Of a world of pure delight Bright the world of sin is Like the finish on some nylon tights Styled on times gone past With just a hint of twenty-first century arse I am the chap who spent a whole damn summer on gin I got the clap and I lamented I don't have a plan Now draw me again (?) Run to mummy And then To the place where I find space Solace, and grace Far from the trappings of the rodentile race Down with the strides Save grace and then Brace myself for whatever may occur It's the sit-down of champions, I'm sure you'll concur If the lure of modern life has become too much I long for my porcelain crutch and so I retire to Hermitage Shanks For a rest and a read And perhaps a little -- If I'm drawing a blank I give thanks to the tank When I retire to Hermitage Shanks Hermitage Shanks, you're my piece of the rock Down with the britches Out with the old -- Clasp the chain with a couple of yanks And give thanks To Hermitage Shanks When I've overdone it on the sherry And I'm very merry With a Delhi belly I can verily a**ume I can retire to this room And resume the job at hand And then rejoin my merry band I would give it ten minutes, if I were you Ten minutes to recover from the shock and ballyhoo Ballywho did that? Ballyme or ballyyou? You're celiac, you, obsessed with the poo! I'm off to the Kit-Kat Club for a few more. Sweet or dry sherry; matters not! I'll do more of the same. The notions which dare not speak their name! I'm the master of my domain, so I claim. Then why am I always the one to blame When a distaste for the air is exclaimed! When the accusations become too much... I long for my porcelain crutch and so... I retire to Hermitage Shanks! For a rest and a read and perhaps a little--... If I'm drawing a blank, I give thanks to the tank When I retire to Hermitage Shanks! Hermitage Shanks, you're my piece of the rock! Down with the britches, out with the old--... Clasp the chain with a couple of yanks And give thanks to Hermitage Shanks!