Monty Python - Monty Python and the Holy Grail ( lyrics

ARTHUR There it is! The Bridge of d**h! ROBIN Oh, great. KNIGHT Look! ARTHUR There's the old man from Scene 24! BEDEMIR What is he doing here? ARTHUR He is the keeper of the Bridge of d**h. He asks each traveller five questions-- GALAHAD Three questions. ARTHUR Three questions. He who answers the five questions-- GALAHAD Three questions. ARTHUR Three questions may cross in safety. ROBIN What if you get a question wrong? ARTHUR Then you are cast into the Gorge of Eternal Peril. ROBIN Oh, I won't go. ARTHUR Who's going to answer the questions? Sir Robin! ROBIN Yes? ARTHUR Brave Sir Robin, you go. ROBIN Hey! I've got a great idea. Why doesn't Lancelot go? LANCELOT Yes, let me go, my liege. I will take him single-handed. I shall make a feint to the north-east-- ARTHUR No, no, hang on, hang on, hang on! Just answer the five questions-- GALAHAD Three questions. ARTHUR Three questions as best you can. And we shall watch...and pray. LANCELOT I understand, my liege. ARTHUR Good luck, brave Sir Lancelot. God be with you. KEEPER Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of d**h must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. LANCELOT Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid. KEEPER What is your name? LANCELOT My name is Sir Lancelot of Camelot. KEEPER What is your quest? LANCELOT To seek the Holy Grail. KEEPER What is your favorite color? LANCELOT Blue. KEEPER Right. Off you go. LANCELOT Oh, thank you. Thank you very much. ROBIN That's easy! KEEPER Stop! Who approaches the Bridge of d**h must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see. ROBIN Ask me the questions, bridge-keeper. I'm not afraid. KEEPER What is your name? ROBIN Sir Robin of Camelot. KEEPER What is your quest? ROBIN To seek the Holy Grail. KEEPER What is the capital of Assyria? ROBIN I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! KEEPER Stop! What is your name? GALAHAD Sir Galahad of Camelot. KEEPER What is your quest? GALAHAD I seek the Holy Grail. KEEPER What is your favorite color? GALAHAD Blue. No yel-- Auuuuuuuugh! KEEPER Heh heh. Stop! What is your name? ARTHUR It is Arthur, King of the Britons. KEEPER What is your quest? ARTHUR To seek the Holy Grail. KEEPER What is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow? ARTHUR What do you mean? An African or European swallow? KEEPER What? I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh! BEDEMIR How do you know so much about swallows? ARTHUR Well, you have to know these things when you're a king you know.