Monty Python - Monty Python and the Holy Grail ("Camelot Song") lyrics

Fairly close HEAD-ON SHOT of the KNIGHTS riding along. BEDEVERE and ARTHUR at the front of the group deep in conversation. BEDEVERE And that, my lord, is how we know the Earth to be banana-shaped. ARTHUR This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes. BEDEVERE OF course, my Liege ... LAUNCELOT (he points) Look, my liege! They all stop and look. ARTHUR (with thankful reverence) Camelot! CUT TO shot of amazing castle in the distance. Illuminated in the rays of the setting sun. Music. CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and the group. They are all staring with fascination. GALAHAD Camelot ... LAUNCELOT Camelot ... GAWAIN (at the back, to PAGE) It's only a model. ARTHUR (turning sharply) Sh! (to the rest) Knights! I bid you welcome to your new home! Let us ride ... to Camelot. 8 INTERIOR - NIGHT CUT TO interior of medieval hall. A large group of armoured KNIGHTS are engaged in a well choreographed song-and-dance routine of the very up-beat 'If they could see me now' type of fast bouncy number. The poorer verses are made clearer by CUTTING to a group of knights actually engaged in the described task while the line itself is sung. They sing: KNIGHTS We're knights of the round table We dance whene'er we're able We do routines and chorus scenes With footwork impeccable. We dine well here in Camelot We eat ham and jam and spam a lot. We're knights of the Round Table Our shows are formidable But many times We're given rhymes That are quite unsingable We're opera mad in Camelot We sing from the diaphragm a lot. Booming ba**es. A routine where two XYLOPHONISTS play parts of KNIGHTS' armour producing a pleasing effect. In war we're tough and able. Quite indefatigable Between our quests We sequin vests And impersonate Clark Gable It's a busy life in Camelot. SINGLE MAN I have to push the pram a lot. CUT BACK TO ARTHUR and BEDEVERE and COMPANY as we had left them. ARTHUR No, on second thought, let's not go to Camelot. KNIGHTS Right! ARTHUR It is a silly place.