Monoxide - Fear lyrics

[Verse 1: Boondox] Visions of my children wiping tears from open eyes As they kneel beside my coffin family say their last goodbyes But it's the faces of my babies got me trippin' thanking God for breath Expressions filled with pain has got me strappin on the vest And I know that I ain't living right I hang on borrowed time And this life's gone leave them ba*tards cause their pops has got to grind Little mouths have got to eat so I hug them, hit the streets Splitting time with them and money got me feelin incomplete And I ain't scared of any mothaf**a fight the flames of hell But a child without his dad has got me hiding in my shell Got me shakin' in my boots to see them face this world alone Are the strong enough to cope stuck in half a f**in' home As I lay them down to sleep it's all on me their soul to keep And if I die before I wake up I pray to God he's up there waitin' With an army full of angels strapped with gats cause I'm defying Since I first became a father only fear I have is dying [Hook] This situation has got me losing sleep I cannot eat I'm feeling weak the fear has got me On my knees The fear has got me X2 [Verse 2: Blaze Ya Dead Homie] After all that I have ever done And all that you will ever see from life d**h beyond the grave how will they remember me I only fear the lost of my voice When it's gone The only noise is the pen I'm a writer by choice I can cut my tounge clean off and smoke myself toothless I still be on the mic spittin' sh** they call ruthless The truth is I go deaf dumb and blind in one ear And be the dopest deaf, dumb and blind guy you ever hear I ain't scared of dyin or d**h, I've been there Rotting in the ground in the pine box for many years My return ain't a form of reincarnation I'm a walking buddy men Don't get it lost in a translation And with a loss of expression Pleased with depression The thoughts with everything ending is what I'm guessing Raising light at the ending ain't no been ain't no bow If I go we all go as the bomb I'm carrying will explode [Hook] [Verse 3: Monoxide] Eyes open but I don't remember much I try to focus but the light is bright as f** I go to sit up but I'm strapped and stuck Stuck panic can't say nothin' like my jaw is wired shut How the f** did get to where I am is still a mystery My memories not a**istin' me as I lay here in misery Literally hopin' that somebody will give me some kind of time Am I dead or alive? This a dream or a sign? Is there a chance that I can find my mind and rewind But they paint me behind blinds and find somethin It's like a game and nobody told me we we're playin And the fact that I don't know if I'm alive and sane And inside my brain only one thing remains The fear of not knowing, paralyzes almost everthing Any second can be my last breath And my best guess is nothin' with no memories left I'm sorry [Hook]