Monielle - Misunderstood (feat. Monielle) lyrics
[Produced by Tone Jonez & Ben Somerville] [Intro: Deflect] I wasn't force-fed what i believe My mind isn't brainwashed because i believe in something i can't see I won't let you define who i am Scared of the future and regrettin' the past, i am a dirty broken man [Verse 1: Deflect] Enough chit chat, where the ba** at? Where do i face that Stereo that drown my problems out, i wanna taste that Will i be wastin' My time k**in' minutes i'll never get back? Slip through my fingers watchin' my life go by like an hourgla** Spent so much of my past livin' a life i never owned Wanted all the girls 'n' alcohol, runnin' from my home Livin' a double, triple, lover life Ain't thinkin' 'bout nobody else but me, myself and I Ain't it odd that a God who lives high up in the sky Would down on a created being, give him wings to fly? I'll never know why i was targeted, man i sure never wanted him He stripped away my idols and he gave me a new start again My soul deteriorating runnin' after fake dreams Never was fully content but i was always waiting Maybe one more girl will solve the problem of my emptiness Maybe a distraction like p**nography will help me forget my mess (it never did) [Chorus 1: Monielle] Want you to know me for my good and not my past And i know, i know I know i jumped in the front seat and drove too fast Feel so misunderstood [Verse 2: Deflect] Nowadays you'll find me hidin' in my room, paranoid of what i hear People tell me the world crumblin', so i just hide in fear It ain't just the world i'm scared of, man i'm frightened of myself My old habits tuggin' at me, monsters never left the shelf I'm scared of bein' a leader cause when people lookin' up to you It's so easy to start fakin', pretendin' just so they approve I'm so sick of pretending Sick of Satan upending Goodness in me goin' right, then he messes it all Up, and i'm frontin', and i'm wantin, and i'm scared People always tellin' me there ain't no God out there But i don't wanna be alone, so scared of being thrown Into darkness, the fault in this, oblivious oblivion Used to be so sure of everything, call 'em dividends Cause God's the only one who makes sense of the world i'm livin' in He turned this unwilling rebel to Him so I know He's there But it never stops me from livin' in paranoia and fear [Chorus 2: Monielle] Want you to know me for my good and not my past And i know, i know I know i jumped in the front seat and drove too fast If i could go back, i would I feel misunderstood [Verse 3: Deflect] I wasn't force-fed what i believe I ain't ashamed to fight for someone i can't see Every day i'm still tryna find my identity But i ain't brainwashed cause i believe in an entity People still judge me For someone i was be- -fore it all changed, rearranged but they don't get it I've told 'em so many times God humbled my pride And yet to them i'm still a narcissistic ladies man, they'll never get it Is this how i'll go down in my hometown history? A bipolar ministrial mystery? My brother don't understand me, oldest one reprimands me Thinks i'm makin his mistakes and i needa plan against the System, i missed the mark i shoulda gone for when my arrow of my dreams was still under my control To me it's all mind control, i'ma snap out of it Everybody's talkin' too loud, i needa quiet bit Turn the ba** off Stop with your judgments Stop with your frontin' So tired of runnin' From everything done in My past You make my pain last I know what i've done, I know what i had Pop reminders in my face, you a Youtube Ad Your opinion of me is irrelevant You do no research, cuz you just the elephant Sits in the room and say nothin' but gossip He spread down the wire and he never stop it All of your comments could drive me insane But i know that's what you want, boy you inane You won't defeat me or put me to shame Cause Jesus accept me, I trust in His name Some of you think i'm fakin or up to no good? Keep judgin', i'll always be misunderstood