[Verse] I took her out It was a Friday night I wore cologne To get the feeling right We started making out And she took off my pants But then I turned on the TV [Chorus] And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And are still more amused by TV shows What the f** is ADD? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? What's my age again? [Verse 2] Then later on On the drive home I called her mom From a payphone And I said I was the cops And your husband's in jail This state looks down on sodomy (Sodomy) [Chorus] And that's about the time that b**h hung up on me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And are still more amused by prank phone calls What the f** is call ID? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? Where's my asian friend? It's the slow pretty part! [Chorus] And that's about the time she walked away from me Nobody likes you when you're 23 And you still act like you're in freshman year What the f** is wrong with me? My friends say I should act my age What's my age again? [Outro] That's about the time she broke up with me No one should take themselves so seriously With so many years ahead to fall in line Why would you wish that on me? I never wanna act my age What's my age again? Where's my age again? What's my age again? Where's my asian friend? [Speech] Mark: f** yeah! Tom: Hey Mark! I'm starting to get sweaty and contrary, while most people think, I think I look better wet. I've been campaigning this for about two years now. So throughout the show, you will see me getting s**ier and s**ier as it gets hotter and hotter. Y'know? Mark: And- Tom: And what? Mark: If you watch close enough, you might watch Tom getting fatter and fatter as the show goes on too Tom: Why would I be getting fatter? Mark: Cause, b**bies! Travis: Oh jeez, stop it! No Tom: But you're too young! Mark: You're way too young. Gosh. Let me tell you why you're gonna get fatter and fatter, because dog semen is full of calories Tom: Yeah, don't eat dog semen. We hear that there's a- hah- it's the number one cause of uh, uh bad breath. Hey this song is about when I had too much alcoholic beverages, got kicked out of highschool, wrote a song about it and here it goes like this