Mark Douglas - Fifty lyrics

You walk into the office and pull yourself together For a meeting with your a-hole boss He tells you that youre fired, but he calls it retired He says Sorry but weve gotta cut costs You start screaming like a fool You trash your cubicle And they have to call security You see a hot girl by the curb And you try to flirt with her But she thinks you need help crossing the street When youre fifty Sometimes you drink till you pa** out on the floor Now your livers destroyed and youve got hemorrhoids And you can barely get it up anymore MIKE Aww cmon that only happened once! Shut up, Taylor Swift? TAYLOR Fifty TAYLOR Youre kids think youre lame and they can't hide their shame When youre with them in public place And your wife can hardly stand you she always reprimands you And your son calls you a douchebag to your face And then youve finally had enough You say, son you think youre tough? You think that you can whoop your dad? Hes says, No Id rather not You say, gimme your best shot And then he kicks you in the nads When your 50 MIKE Hey shut up! Ill sing a verse your stupid song? Youve got squinty little eyes, and you sound crappy live Kanye was drunk but he wasn't wrong And you s**ed on the Grammys [Taylor Swift starts to cry.] MIKE Im sorry Taylor Swift. Im just going through a rough time. That was uncalled for. Youre very talented [She kicks him in the nuts and runs off with the bu*terflies and birds] MIKE Ahhhh! Somebody get me the hell out of this enchanted forest