Mal Webb - Contraceptive Personality lyrics

You're not dumb, so ignorance, for you, is no excuse You look fine, you're not a swan, but still you're not a goose But you haven't got lucky for a long time You can't figure out what you've been doing so wrong But you'll find what's got you in a bind is lurking in your mind A contraceptive personality It'll thwart you every time you talk A contraceptive personality It's a bummer, but you'll never need condoms or fork out for child support You dress well, you never wear your mocckies* in the street You don't smell, you're neither fetid filth nor sickly sweet But you haven't got lucky for a long time You search the whole planet for a reason why But instead, the thing you really dread is stuck there in your head A contraceptive personality It'll rear when your chance is near A contraceptive personality But you'll never get the wet spot, sleep deprivation or gonorrhoea You're not that unattractive when it's not interactive But with a flapping jaw then you don't score at all You're the best friend anyone could ever find And I need to remind you I mean to be kind But it's true love that you're really running from You're convinced it'll bomb and that ruins your aplomb You're not dumb, you look fine You dress well, you don't smell You're not mean or obscene and that's keen, but... You talk yourself out of any chance you get But these fears, the source of all your tears, are right between your ears No lying, crying, sighing, dying, vying For a place in the race for a trace Of your personal space