Mahhest - Soul searchin lyrics

[Verse 1] Tell me why I'm respecting you.. Though it's clearly disrespecting myself Drinking water, Mick told me this sh**'ll help... N I can't help but be a product of the product and the pulpit Point the trigger my way, hope you ready to pull it Talk about some bullsh** Talk about the time you figured out that she was full of it Talkin back when ya lil nephew caught a bullet Walkin round the block cuz this b**h said somethin foolish... N though it got you hot, you really love her so you cool it But staring at the sun done got you blind N you're still not knowing if this love is the right kind Thinking you could force nothing to something truly divine... But you can't make it to heaven by committing suicide Could thank Adam n Evelynn n every one of a kind I'm trynna find a way to forgive them all in my mind Sometimes I'm miles away, not knowing what I'm gone find Sometimes I need the moon, thinking the stars are mine... Now is it truly a crime to be attracted by the shine when the moon don't even show her full self most of the time? N you could feel the pain I'm addicted to her mind She addicted to herself So I'm a dick in due time But the reactionary kind, inside I'm really crying "Why the f** she hurting me? Lord knows I'm really trying." N every word she spoke to me, I shoulda known that she was lying She done got a hold of me n I just didn't believe the signs..now why? [Verse 2] You never felt your soul ache You never been the embodiment of everything that they hate You never cared when they couldn't care less You never been there when they want you, but you're alone when you're depressed N I'm the saddest song your gramma knows N when she sings, it brings them tears that only grammas know I'm trynna grow, I'm trynna show that I got minds to blow.... Hey maybe next time, we gone be at my show... But who knows? That's how it goes when you got pa**ion though But as of late I'm pa**ionless as people praying for blessings they never get; How you gone ask God for another f**in hit? N we still not knowin where the f** the love went, but I got - Big dreams, n this scheme: to f** the world til I'm on every f**in big screen Now light it up n you could see what you been missing... I'm soul searchin, think I'll find it in a 16... But I'll take two of whatever they gave you Opportunities to me is always ending up fatal N I'm the same dude that you gave your heartache to... I...bear the burden, poking on the f**in bruise... Man I wish I could say I can't lose I roll a few n now I'm knowing why it's called the "blews." They smokin fools n they ain't knowing they got mamas too And they ojos drippin aguazul when they put on the news... I know you're feeling the blues, so I drop riddles in twos Say what they spittin is venom, my fangs be drippin it true Could take a dip in that pool My actions speak for themselves, ain't gotta tell it to you It ain't no tale that I be tellin, I'm just telling the truth I went to hell, thought it was heaven, now I'm fixin to shoot In my mind I had a dime; in reality bout a 2.. N Imma need a whole dollar for my soul, bruh Know it's made of gold, but these hoes can't tell the difference between bronze Thinkin they see kings though they moves really be like pawns See I done lost my queen n my heart really broke three times... Don't be askin me why. See, I ain't got the reason