M.C. Frontalot - Ha**le: The Dorkening lyrics

I played Ha**le: The Dorkening once Had eighteen cards in my hand, all Muds And I didn't seem to need a mud card to win Hadn't tapped a Mud yet — then the other kid grinned See, he'd just drawn a battalion of rolling explosions Plus a card that made me frozen Those and the roll of a twenty die did it My last hit point had already got hitted My last instant had already got acquitted Got called twice in a turn dimwitted: It didn't swell up my ego much I played Ha**le: The Dorkening once And I'll make my own game up, and you won't know Which mode of the turn phase we're in, and when to go And how to lay down cards, and at what angle I'll have artifacts like Enchanted Kangol And Mic of Spurious Rhyme Busting And creatures like MC Chris On Robotussin And MC Hawking (who tramples for ample damage) The rules will be written in C++ and Spanish And hit counters will increment only The winner of the hand is the one who's the most lonely Because everyone quit Mumbling about futility and sh**