I can break your heart with a work of art And a song that's quiet and small But we're back where we began it all: Radio City Music Hall So tonight we might go bigger That right, it's bigger It's Broadway' greatest night, and we're rarin' to go Let's make it bigger Tonight it's bigger Who will take home a Tony statue? We don't know! I guarantee a truly legendary show This season's new recruits include the cast of Kinky Boots You see, they're beautiful and buff as Navy SEALs And you could bounce a quarter off the a** of Billy Porter Lord, he does eight shows a week in eight inch heels Hats off to Berry Gordy, he runs Motown like a boss He dominates Top 40 and he banged Diana Ross! He wrote his own libretto which is really kinda ballin' He took every Motown cla**ic and he said "Ah, put 'em all in." Make it bigger That's right, it's bigger I just learned this dance like half an hour ago We're going bigger Like, so much bigger You ever seen so many divas in a row? Well stick with me, cause your emcee's a seasoned pro. It's Pippin! Never slippin', always flippin' As he's pinin' for his corner of the sky. But the sky is over crowded with his oh-so-highly-touted cast of singing circus people flying by. The cast of Bring It On had count 'em thirty two debuts. Hey kids, welcome to Broadway, don't forget your union dues. In tandem like we planned 'em Forgive me if it's random Mike Tyson had a one man show Let's give the man a hand and make things bigger. That's right it's bigger I'm here with Iron Mike He's heavy weight yo Let's make it bigger Tonight it's bigger Hey we've got cheerleaders, contortionists, and so go find a sports bar change the channel to our show. The famous Matildas stole the show And nearly k**ed us so they got a special Tony of their own, Which strikes at the achilles of the jaded former Billys They win Tonys but get fired when they're grown Now here's the kids from Christmas Story, Annie and her orphans So many child actors high on Red Bull and endorphins. They barely come up to your knees, but God, they're singing like MVPs And they're the reason this whole season seems to look like Chuck. E. Cheese and jeez it's bigger That's right it's bigger Is there a Tony daycare where all of you go? You're getting bigger Tonight it's bigger So do your parents set aside your Broadway dough? When I played Doogie...never mind, on with the show Oh! Broadway's where famous people go. Though being famous doesn't mean that you will get a good review So Alec, write Ben Brantley if you want "that's entertaining" too We've got magic to do! Bigger That's right it's bigger I'm walkin' down the aisle with some Newsies in tow This show is bigger Tonight it's bigger If there's a Newsie you prefer, you let me know You'll get a Newsie in your gift bag when you go! "Can I have my Tom Hooper 'Les Miz' closeup please? See, on Broadway we don't need extreme closeups to prove we're singing live. We sing live eight shows a week. Check it!" At the end of the day we are gathered together to honor the best and the brightest. And tomorrow the fashion police will report on your dress and who wore it the tightest. If you win, have the time of your life. Tell your manager, dad, and your mom, "Thanks." Say hi to your kids and your husband or wife. Maybe just for the hell of it, Tom Hanks! Nothing is bigger and better than seeing a veteran get an ovation or seeing a brilliant beginner freak out on a win for their first nomination. There's a kid in the middle of nowhere sitting there, living for Tony performances singin' and flippin' along with the Pippins and Wickeds and Kinkys, Matildas and Mormonses. So we might rea**ure that kid and do something to spur that kid Cause I promise you all of us up here tonight We were that kid and now we're bigger Tonight it's bigger So let's create the biggest spectacle we know! Come see the super s**y Cinderella sisters celebrating Ladies grab a fella, the tempo is accelerating Newsies, Pippin, Motown, Phantom, Kinky, Rock of Ages, Chicago, Bring it On, A Christmas Story sharing stages. Mamma Mia, Lion King, The Jersey Boys are tappin' Kathie Lee's a Broadway lyricist so anything can happen. Bigger! New York is bigger! So welcome to our bigger better bigger better Best of Broadway Tony Show!