[Verse 1 - Lil Dicky:] Looking at a b**h, it's a beautiful view Snookie kinda tits, with a booty for two But she really fit, word to Scooby and Doo So I pursue it like I do in the booth That mean I really wanna hit, holla at her like ayo what it do I ain't your daddy, I ain't mad at you moves The way you dancing got me staring cause you badder Than a bear at the zoo Who doesn't care particularly for the food And get embarra**ed when there is a lot of people staring into his lair And he very hairy and the air isn't good She said okay I'm understanding the comparison So chill with the narrative, cause you scaring me away from you dude Then I said, I said okay, that was my bad Know my pick up line's sad Wanted to impress you, why the f** you think I buy plaid We should go to my pad Let you hold the iPad climax You looking better than an imax Decide fast, cause I'm bout to get up in the the ride and take a ride fast She replied yes, now we driving And now she kissing on ya dude But the minute she unzippin's when I think I gotta poop [Hook - Lil Dicky:] Now your man is rolling all around the motherf**ing city While he holding on a bitty [Verse 2 - Lil Dicky:] While he holding in a sh** He can't control it, so he focused, but she groping on his dick He wanna bone her, but he told her that he feeling sorta iffy But she really wanna get it bro Feeling on a testicle But Lil Dicky reeling what he feeling is intestinal Goddamn it what the f** should I do Cause shawty really wanna get in the mood But Dicky been had to poop And now she kinda confused Been persistent but the kid been tryna resist her moves, Doing 60 in a 20, I got reason to move Cause I been squeezing on my bu*tcheeks like a prisoner do And now I'm getting close to panicking Stomach is unraveling Every f**ing bump has got me clutching on my abdomen I swear this isn't happening I'm staring at the back of the Cadillac in the pa**ing lane Swearing up at the traffic mayne... Man this is harder than all madden I'm airing out the car because I'm farting like a savage She started f**ing grabbing, on ma part to make some magic But I'm hardly harder than some corduroys up on a rabbit So I tell her that the plans change Don't mean to act strange But I gotta go, I left ma phone up in the last place She gave me the sad face Started typing numbers at a fast pace Glowing black case on the dash, great So I told her thanks babe, But I forgot I gotta water f**ing plants up at my aunts house that way But shawty still up on your man She caressing and undressing me and then I sh** ma pants [Hook - Lil Dicky:] Now ya man is rolling all around the motherf**ing city Trying hold in that he sh**ted, cause he rolling with a bitty [Verse 3 - Lil Dicky:] But he tripping, and he twitching cause he hoping she don't sniff it But he only got a minute till she notice that he did it So he pull over the car and Do it like he Tarzan Rip all of his clothing then go into the forest Minute later shawty came in the nude And then I laid her on a sycamore root Nobody knew that I pooped Nobody know that I pooped f**ing right, nobody knew that I pooped Until I got back in the wip up with that chick And she could sniff all the poop and So then I told her that it must have been goose, She said I think you mean geese I said that's what I mean Seen a dozen of them motherf**ers in the ravine Then she said what's a ravine I said the thing in between us and all the greenery I mean it's a stream, don't know why I said ravine Then she said oh I see, and then [Outro]