Kunt And The Gang - The Birds and the Bees lyrics

Well, I was at a family wedding and to be frank I was thinking about f**ing off home 'cause it was proper wa*k The free bar had run out and so I decided to leave When all of a sudden this little kid came up to me He said: "I've heard some words in the playground I don't understand For example, an*s, front bottom and mammary glands" Before I knew it he clambered up and was sat on my knee And he said: "Uncle Kunt, will you tell me 'bout the birds and the bees?" So, I stopped, scratched my head And then I said... "Well, your Dad, he took his cheesy pole Which he stuck in Mummy's fishy hole Then he moved it in and out, in and out, in and out Until little tadpoles come out" "But the thing is, you see, my Mum is a lesby friend And neither her or my other Mummy has got a bell-end They've both got vaginas so I'm confused you see Without any co*ks or mens milk, how the f** did they make me?" So, I stopped, scratched my head And then I said... "Mmm... well, they probably found some bloke and got Him to wa*k into a yoghurt pot And then she put the jizz into a syringe And squirted it up her minge So, your Daddy brought his cheesy pole off into a pot of Benecol Then again, the pot might have been Ski But either way it was white wee wee And that's the birds and the bees