Krista Detor - One Too Many Christmases lyrics

ONE TOO MANY CHRISTMASES © Krista Detor, The Silver Wood: Wintersongs Well, there are one too many minutes on the clock up on the wall There are one too many minutes waiting for someone to call And I have one too many Christmases With nothing much at all And I have you … but we are through There are one too many TV shows that start and end with cars There are one too many telephones at one too many bars And I have one too many photographs Of things you said were ours And I have you … but we are through So take your one too many I-love-you's And your one too many honeydos And your favorite Christmas poster of the girls who sell the beer Take your light-up Rudolph Reindeer nose And your Dukes of Hazzard videos And take your Yuletide a** right out of here There are one too many bill collectors calling me on Sunday There are one too many lists of all the things you'll do on Monday And I have one too many charges made to 1-900-HONEY And I have you … but we are through So take your one too many I-love-you's And your one too many honeydos And your favorite Christmas poster of the girls who sell the beer And take your Santa underwear That barely fit your derrière And take your Yuletide a** right out of here Well, maybe you had one too many That might it explain it, goodness knows Yeah, you had one too many, slipped on the ice and broke your nose Couldn't buy my Christmas present cause all the liquor stores were clo---ho-ho-hosed There've been one too many fabrications One too many lost vacations One too many holidays, one too many lonely celebrations One too many IOUs for future presents I could choose At one too many hardware stores Got nothing but these Christmas Blues I'd settle for about any guy who'd keep a job and not ask why Who'd show up more than once a week to get his laundry done And I would settle for about any man Who'd mow the lawn and lend a hand And fill my Christmas stocking instead of leaving me with none So take your one too many I-love-you's And your one too many honeydos And your favorite Christmas poster of the girls who sell the beer Take your drunken mistletoes and your anniversary garden hose And take your Yuletide a** right out of here. That's what I said, Bubba — Take your Yuletide a** right out of here Hit the road, Kris Pringles Take your Yuletide a** right out of here!