Kool A.D. - Rap Genius lyrics

[Verse 1: Kool A.D.] I'm the best white rapper, call me Paul Barman I got bars man, Tarzan, Don Cheadle, Mission to Mars, man Most of y'all sweet like marzipan b**bie say my pipes be the heat like cars man If the booty right, I might eat the whole jar Can, bowl, pot, basket whatever Rap game Pol Pot, caskets leather material Most of these rap cats smell like posterior Their roster's inferior Me, I'm a monster, delirious Half rasta, half pasta serious Hoffa couldn't find how lost I get often Get off it, I'm a vet, I wet possum and jet I get off 'em and on 'em again, awesome Honor my friends flossing Respect the fly fashion, look at my One ugly rugby, I took it and washed it And kicked it to my cousin in, he was like, "Gracias, primo" Kool A.D., amigo La musica de amaze ocho ocho Pero no ocho cinco, blinko blinko I'm so, um, ridic-u-lico Pause, shout to Mike Finito Neato, Suave, Rico White girl, Nico Psychosomatic, addict insane In my own nation like the Vatican, mayne John Wayne on the saddle again, rattling chains I never battled for fame or ratted Or tattled or got mad at the game I never batted an eye, I batted the same Average to keep me consistently drafted, and that's it And still managed to drop a few cla**ics Old school, new cla**es Old view, new gla**es I told you, I do magic like David Blaine Stand stationary, remain the same You minor, I'm Major Payne, baby, I'm Damon Wayans Please take me out on the fader, mayne But wait -- no no, not yet [Verse 2: Lakutis] I'm in this smokey detective room Bars full of light through the blinds Look into his eyes Mouth got the moth on it Meat with the sauce on it Jewel in the eyesocket Picture of the kid And your girl gold heart locket Ice cold flow buss it, it's nothin' (it's nothin') How am I doin' this!? Damn sho' the gold ring, Mrs. thing ring ring Telephone, sorry it's the President Hold up I gotta take this, yes hello Mr. President Obama Ho love the aesthetic but she hate the rap music She be sayin' Lak-yoo-tis -- that's not how you say it, b**h Check me, I'm the Don Juan, garçon More Pellegrino, please See me with the pedigree, marijuana medical Don't go past two hundred Keep it one hundred, keep it ugly funky with me Call the b**h chunky, hit me crispy chicky Microphone flew out the hand and knock a ho out Damn [Interlude: Dallas Penn] This is one of them filthy cyphers One of them dirty drawer cyphers Where you didn't bathe for a few days Not because you can't, but because you didn't want to [Verse 3: DVS] Rip your diplomas, cancel your Time Warner This the last thing you need to know for the time bein' Fly being, eyes on the prize, obvious mind readin' Defy reasoning, mind of science is not reachin' 'em I'm in the mirror in the picture in your Instagram Candyman, hook in my hand, not what you think I am Live with a plan, stand and deliver You livin' in a van down by the river, that's unfortunate I'm sure you thought of this, steak and a bone Eatin' the cartilage, stay in your home, you don't want all of this Don't even bank on the phone, remain anonymous I'm In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida, you and Eve are up out this b**h Told you not to eat them apples you a**hole Now fast forward a couple of months, you in a bad zone I'm still the man though, funny how things happen Misfits step on the planet and then the track go [Verse 4: Meyhem Lauren] Yo, lap dances from strippers with lap bands Come through spots and we dap hands -- what up, Dan? I'm just chilling, trying to live Keep the contraband out of the crib, know what I'm saying? Rocking fly sweats, sneakers that's Gore-Tex We come through, b**hes want raw s** and beef patties Let em carry ball bags, call em street caddies Bump and grind on the gas line; peace, Sandy Stay dipped, flipping like I keep my feet handy ..And that's where I ran out of clever things to say, like I'm trying to think of something cute to say right now but I'm about to just let the song end You already know that we in here Except for when we not, then we out there