Kinky Friedman - Waitress, Please, Waitret lyrics

(Kinky Friedman, Major Boles, Roscoe West) Well, I pulled into Dallat on a cold December day Bought coffee and a doughnut at the Greasy Spoon Café, Spied me a pretty young waitret standing by her tray, But she couldn't believe her sweet young ears when the waitret heard me say: Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin' ain't cheatin', Lord it ain't no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it a case And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate. Well, I walked up to the jukebox feeling kind of mean, The waitret said, "Hey, stupid, that's a cigarette machine!" "Well, look-a here, young waitret, would you care to make a bet, And if that there ain't a jukebox, you can smoke my cigarette!" Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin' ain't cheatin', Lord it ain't no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it a case And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate. You're the prettiest thing in Dallat, is Dallat your home? No, I come all the way from Houton and I feel so all alone. I used to live in Autin then I come up to big D In hopes to get my big break on national TV. Honey, I think I have what it takes to make you a star — but first ... Oh, waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate, Eatin' ain't cheatin', Lord it ain't no disgrace. Oh, bring me a Lone Star, make it a case And waitret, please, waitret, come sit down on my fate.