King of the Dot - Charron vs Chedda Cheese lyrics

[Round 1: Charron] I found out the name of the first person that's been on his co*k Did y'all see how nervous Ubiquitous got? Don't think any of your gay jokes will apply to me Just cause at the moment I'm a lot closer to a f*ggot than I'd like to be I project you're quieting your tone is getting thinner We're finding out you're quiet, I'm exposing this beginner When the judges say his f**ing name is chosen for the winner Wouldn't hear them say "Cheese" if they were posing for a picture I bet the name of your first spouse will be "Larry" or "Dan" You're forced to marry a man when you're looking like the son from American Dad I heard you're the personal b**h of all your friends They pick you up, shake you, call you their pet I saw Zack swing you around as you were bobbing your head Like, "Hey Sketch Menace am I popular yet?" Your first win was against poRich, you clever little lyricist Your first opponent is like the first girl you slept with as a [?] kid They were f**ing smashed and regret the whole experience Yo, I got a few pimples but that acne is gnarly It looks like you got chicken pox and scratch it with car keys Chedda, that sh**'s got craters and illuminates the streets I guess it's really true that the moon is made of cheese When you and Ubiquitous spit that [?] scheme it s**ed Unoriginal and pitiful, practicing for months You had to jump in cause your friend couldn't craft a decent punch [Jack sh**t] And that sh**'s weak as f**! [Round 1: Chedda Cheese] Charron, what are you doing here? This trip was a bad little mistake man Your parents don't let you travel unless they know you're in safe hands So you told yourself you're a brave man then plotted out an escape plan Just wait til I tell your mom that you're not really at Space Camp To know Charron is home alone or roaming like a mobile phone they don't condone I'm known to get it cracking like your vocal tone You don't promote your own persona though, Charron You probably go and clone my chromosomes and change your name to "Provolone" Quit lying about your age man, why you gotta act so weird? You've been claiming you're 17 for the past two years Don't even bother trying to conjure up some intellect You're an adult who pretends to be a child, like your father on the internet And I'm perfectly convinced that this kid with a lack of rhythm is addicted to masochism Cause this is a cataclysm I can't believe you've never inflicted an aneurysm From all your exaggerated, ridiculous mannerisms But no one here would commemorate all that garbage you demonstrate Make an effort to elevate, then you can celebrate Even though I'm a heavyweight, we're a couple of featherweights If we got on a teeter totter together it would levitate [Round 2: Charron] Yo, he said I'm at Space Camp, while I shout for his girl I'm not at Space Camp but your girl's blow jobs are out of this world We're both casually dressed and can't brag about s** But when I ask out girls who are average at best to random events They laugh at me less If you're s*utty enough to let Chedda Cheese in yo' p**y It probably smells like cheddar cheese in yo' p**y Honestly it s**s Hasn't kissed a b**h in probably six months Only time he leaves the bar with a broad or a big s*ut Is when his mom has him picked up from his job at the strip club Your mom doesn't mind giving you rides, it's just a safe bet I mean, she has to go in anyway to pick up her paycheck You're watching Overbite, in the backroom with your mother He comes out hesitant, and asks you for a rubber Here him screaming, "What you mean it's a nickle if I hit it for the first time? That's a bigger waste of money than a plane ticket for Reverse Live." Hollohan forced you to perform in MMA this week You were getting chased from center stage and let out crazy screams Gasped for breath, grabbed the ref like, "Jeff, just make him leave." Ran towards a metal cage, pulled out pepper spray like, "Get away from me Let's just make some cheeeeese." [Round 2: Chedda Cheese] Yeah, I'm a strip club DJ, I can tell that you're astounded/amazed Yes I play your sister's music and announce her to the stage See I kick it with sick schemes and k** it with dope hooks Your leaving with big dreams but really you're so shook The sickest of 16's resided inside of my notebook You chill with chicks who are 16 while watching the Notebook You wanna be like me I get it popping more often than canned Pringles While all you do is battle and market some wack jingles See I make hits, produce records and craft singles You're just a fake version of Chedda/cheddar, like Kraft Singles So if it's a mirror match, the mirror's cracked And now a mire wack meerkat, looking version of me peers back But I'm everything you lack, what you never will surpa** Better flow, better rhymes and I'm better on a track I'm not even dissing you I'm telling you the facts I'm superior in every single element of rap And all your level of sk** never was ill Never improving or trend setting I guess you struggle to raise the bar like either of us bench pressing But you're a whiner so when you lose it doesn't end that well I guess you're just a bad sport like the XFL [Round 3: Charron] Yo, he brought up The Notebook, you better believe this My dick's like The Notebook cause every girl has seen it Battling me, you're feeling the strongest wrath of God But that's karma for the stage battle where Hollohan got robbed He f**ing hates your guts and you're just so sad That Hollohan stares at you like, "I wanna snort you so bad." I know I'm the skinniest dude and I'm not bigger than you But if you win I'll just get Hollohan to beat the f**ing sh** outta you! I'm up in his town but you're a f**ing clown there's no home advantage Your album dropped, that sh** flopped, your parents know what happened Your parody songs apparently bombed and there's no hope and practice You're smaller in the underground than Gary Coleman's casket Sever competitors wow, check it I'm getting so loud Clever I'm getting it down, I hit him with a bit of the rhythm And I'm shredding up Chedda up in this round He spits his double time, all obnoxious and swirled He learned how to talk that fast from being nervous talking to girls Like, "Hi, my name is Chedda Cheese I'm hoping there's a chance That we can like dance and maybe after that perhaps, aw shucks I peed my pants." You've never spit a freestyle in your life Look around the room, make an observation that's precise Someone told me Chedda Cheese was gonna put up a fight Yeah, and I'm gonna have a threesome with these Tapout girls tonight Yo, you duct taped your condom so they don't roll off your tip You're so small even Loe Pesci wouldn't choke on your dick Yo, you're from a great town and you don't even show it The annual stampede, no one sees you going Calgary Flames won the cup in '89 and you don't even know it Plus Alberta's got the best weed in Canada and you don't even smoke it [Round 3: Chedda Cheese] That little fast flow you did was just sad I rap to get amped You're mad that I'm bringing the rhythm and dope rhymes in a way that you can't And I'm sick of the pitiful gimmicks, you're packing Ridiculous actions that you take to get the simpletons laughing So if I lose it's only cause I stick to the rapping And refuse to rely on a bunch of s** jokes to get a reaction With that said, I heard you have a virtual girlfriend I guess it's kind of popular You get behind your monitor and get online to blog with her But she has so many infections and diseases that your firewall detects a virus every time you talk to her And please chill out with the status updates Always gotta share something Thanks to you Facebook now has a "No One Cares" bu*ton So you're a pretty big nerd, I'm a little bit nerdier Your voice is pretty girly, mine's a little bit girlier You've had a couple of girlfriends, I've never had any You're like a 130 pounds, I'm like a 120 You see this guy's shine could never define mine Although you would die trying you'll never be like I So why try making comparisons like a wise guy When obviously I am the ultimate nerdy white guy