KING Karlemagne - Al4tM, Pt. II lyrics

[Chorus: NyaLi] So I'll keep smiling at least for right now Won't share no tears no at least not right now And If I do cry someone calm me down Cause right now, that's just how I feel So I'll keep smiling at least for right now 'Cause that's how I feel Won't share no tears no at least not right now 'Cause that's how I'm feeling And If I do cry someone calm me down 'Cause right now, that's just how I feel [Verse 1: KING Karlemagne] Me saying everything is going good is not believable Sometimes I carried on with the lie, felt I needed to Now I'm a use this moment to be real with you Only spill the truth in hopes that maybe you will feel me too Lot has happened since the last time Though I'm sure that you know how it goes And instead of running from it, I am coming forward To show the world I'm not a coward though Words are powerful, they can build or destroy Found myself wondering for years if it's a ploy Felt pissed and annoyed, wished for a different choice Fornicated as I prayed that it'd get rid of the void Every diss they deployed made me distant some more It all got tired some, like the Michelin boy Guess the gift and the joy of always dealing with heartache Is you see a silver lining while live through the dark days [Chorus: NyaLi] So I'll keep smiling at least for right now 'Cause that's how I feel Won't share no tears no at least not right now 'Cause that's how I'm feeling And If I do cry someone calm me down 'Cause right now, that's just how I feel [Verse 2: KING Karlemagne] You know your funeral was beautiful But in spirit I'm pretty sure you saw All of your kids put aside their differences Which ended us always feeling like we were at war Uncle Leo, me, and merlin, carried your cascade Seeing you there prepared to get buried was tragic d**h dates are like birthdays everyone has it Feel guilty that I wasn't standing there when it happened I was shooting love is love a couple days prior Couldn't have guessed that this woman that I loved would expire So while you were on your way to visit with God I was busy getting robbed by this idiot named Bob I feel hurt cause I miss you, and I live with the thought Hurt, I never gave you the gifts that I bought There's a feeling of pride though other than pain Cause at your burial even the governor came On the blood in our veins, your struggle and shame And all the things that you went through it wasn't in vein Even though you are not here I love you the same So God bless for only he will ever judge you again We had ups, had downs, family goes through the pot holes Only proves you were special for those who did not know It's as if I knew you would die although it did not show I tried to treat you with respect, and honor you got both And remember that girl I brought to your house She's who I want to stand with at the alter and spouse She stood by me at your wake helped me talk it all out Scary thing is I'd be lost if she walked out and bounce Glad you met, cause she'll tell your great grands about you How my father and the fam couldn't stand without you See you were the legs, now we're paraplegic A loss we all shared now we bare and we live with I went to see Sideone months after you died She said she was depressed and she's glad i stopped by She said she had trouble conceiving a child And is afraid that her husband would leave her, it's wild I listened and tried to convince her to smile If you've never been through it you couldn't live with that trail Not to mention for years she's been out of a job I'm telling you, so you can say it louder to god I guess what is wild's we hadn't spoken in years Then I mentioned aunt Vicky and she broken into tears She's looks out for Michele though, I know it's sincere I've been working on some blessings and I hope they appear You know your son and I still don't see eye to eye But he's 5'5, we'll discuss it next time Tell grandpa and aunt Vicky they'll forever be missed Until we meet again your memory's a gift [Chorus: NyaLi] So I'll keep smiling at least for right now 'Cause that's how I feel Won't share no tears no at least not right now 'Cause that's how I'm feeling And If I do cry someone calm me down 'Cause right now, that's just how I feel [Verse 3: KING Karlemagne] It was all good just a week ago That was the last time we'd be speaking though Sunday morning Ben called me just seeking hope I rushed over to your crib as your people coped Ann seemed defeated, Joe was hysterical I held Ben close, told Alfonse I am here for you As I kept thinking of them stories bout your mom She kept a poker face as she told me you were gone Left holy on her lawn, with a bullet to the brain At a loss for words f** who pulled it's all I'm saying You introduced me to Kwame, so he'd let me record An OG to me and Cal, we respected you more Didn't listen when you told us to stay out the streets My first kiss, first b**h you're who gave her to me Now you're gone, truth be told I'm hurting for your daughters Your memory will live through each person you'll be thought of