The Art of the Deal Some guys write poems and beautiful words Some guys write songs about flowers and birds But that ain't who I am, that kinda crap ain't me No no Some guys paint sculptures in plastic and steel Some losers paint paintings abstract and surreal But I don't get it, that kinda crap ain't me Can't you see Oh, the only art I've ever been able to feel Is the only art that matters The Art of the Deal There's nothing better or quite as sublime As signing your name on the dotted line That's all the beauty I need in my life That and a big-titty Eastern Bloc wife Oh, the only art I've ever been able to feel The only art that gets me off Is the Deal Some people make TV shows Like Golden Girls or Diff'rent Strokes Some people make We are the Worlds And give American money to some African folks [But that ain't me] I'm on my own [But that ain't me] I shall over-comb That ain't the man you see shaking your hand And oh The only art that matters ain't Pica**o or Pollock It ain't Warhol, Van Gogh, Rothko Dali, Mondrian, or Ron Popeil The only art that matters is the one that makes me squeal So forget those other losers It's the Art of the Deal The Art of the Deal [Art of the Deal]