{Verse 1} Two weeks all she's had for for lunch Is diet pills and captain crunch Eyes lie like tell me fade baker Cut her hair off with a razor She's wearing her wedding dress And God only knows what comes next {Chorus} Call the Sheriff, call the shrink She's on quicksand 'bout to sink You got around and it got around Yeah you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown {Verse 2} Yards of rope up in the attic Grandpas loaded automatic Liquid Drain-o Clorox bleach And kitchen knives all within reach She swears she won't hurt herself But she might hurt somеbody else {Chorus} Call the Shеriff, call the shrink She's on quicksand 'bout to sink You got around and it got around Yeah you were on the verge of a nervous breakdown {Bridge} Did your laundry cooked your dinner Never saw the crazy in her We're all one heart break away From temporarily insane {Chorus} Call the Sheriff, call the shrink She's on quicksand 'bout to sink You got around and it got around The crazy train has come to town You better head for higher ground The women's on the verge of a nervous breakdown