Junot Díaz - The Brief Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao Excerpt by Ben lyrics

Out of nowhere, and not in the least influenced by my own sh**ty state—of course not!—I decided that I was going to fix Oscar's life . One night while he was moaning on about his sorry existence I said: Do you really want to change it? Of course I do, he said, but nothing I've tried has been ameliorative. I'll change your life. Really? The look he gave me—still breaks my heart, even after all these years. Really. You have to listen to me, though. Oscar scrambled to his feet. Placed his hand over his heart. I swear an oath of obedience, my lord . When do we start? You'll see. The next morning, six a.m., I kicked Oscar's bed. What is it? he cried out. Nothing much, I said, throwing his sneakers on his stomach. Just the first day of your life. I really must have been in a dangle over Suriyan —which is why I threw myself something serious into Project Oscar . Those first weeks, while I waited for Suriyan to forgive me, I had fatboy like Master k**er in Shaolin Temple . Was on his a** 24 /7. Got him to swear off the walking up to strange girls with his I-love-you craziness. (You're only scaring the poor girls, O.) Got him to start watching his diet and to stop talking crazy negative— I am ill fated, I am going to perish a virgin, I'm lacking in pulchritude —at least while I was around, I did. (Positive thoughts, I stressed, positive thoughts, motherf**er!) Even brought him out with me and the boys. Not anything serious—just out for a drink when it was a crowd of us and his monstro-ness inviting out the homeless?) But my biggest coup of all? I got dude to exercise with me. To f**ing run . Goes to show