Julien Baker - Song In E lyrics

I wish that I drank because of you And not only because of me Then I could blame something painful enough Not to make me look any more weak And when you heard my name You could be angry and you'd have a good reason to be Then when I sing in a horrible drunken parade of my worst thoughts I'd say "Give me no sympathy" It's the mercy I can't take I wish you'd come over Not to stay, just to tell me that I was your biggest mistake to my face And then leave me alone in an empty apartment Face down in the carpet I wish that you'd just hurt me It's the mercy I can't take