Julien Baker - Relative Fiction lyrics

Midnight: you could see me dangling; Glow like a cherry falling Now It's a downpour And you could see me racing the rain to the ground floor You're the only thing I'll wait around for Maybe when you get off of work could you meet me We could go barreling down on the main street You could try watching while I run through the high-beams 'Cause if I didn't have a mean bone in my body I'd find some other way to cause you pain I won't bother telling you I'm sorry For something that I'm gonna do again When I could spend the weekend out on a bender Do I get callous or do I stay tender Which of these is worse And which is better? Dying to myself virtually, a massacre A Character of somebody's invention A Martyr in another passion play I guess I don't mind losing my conviction If it's all relative fiction anyway 'Cause I don't need a savior I need you to take me home I don't need your help I need you to leave me alone I'm out where the drunks at the bar Talk over the band I try to express I can't understand I beat at the keys I bloody my hands Till you hear me I've got no business praying I'm finished being good Now I can finally be okay In not the way I thought I should